


Grace and Chains

by TenderHeartedThorn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Almost Rape, Alternate Universe, Angel Sex, Bottom Sam, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Chains, Collars, Consensual Sex, F/M, Grace Bond, Happy Ending, Mates, Pet Reader, Protective Castiel, Rape, Sex, Slow Build, Smut, Soul Bond, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, Top Castiel, Top Gabriel, Underage Sex, Violence, bond, lucifer's a dick, some dark bits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:06:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenderHeartedThorn/pseuds/TenderHeartedThorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment he bought you and tagged you as a present you knew life wasn't going to be the same. The holder of your chains though isn't anything like you suspect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bought

**Author's Note:**

> Okay first time writing Castiel! Please correct me or give me help if he seems to ooc! As always I welcome critiques and corrections. Thank you for reading and please enjoy!

 

The chains rattled loudly, they grind against each other and made painful noises. A sound that caused you comfort much to your disgust. You were taken to yet another new country and all for the pleasure the slaver who couldn't’ find anyone to take you off his hands. The sky here was deceivingly bright and blue, happy if you were an angel. However under your circumstances it was a bleak day of misery. You were roughly pushed up the stairs of a platform to a stake, thoughts of the bright sky were lost. The slave driver lashed you tightly to it before removing your chains only to force your hands behind you and tightened the ones around your feet causing your ankles to clack together. The familiar metal in around your face made you want to bite. That's what got you into this muzzle in the first place though. You’d taken a bite of the slaver’s ear. So he muzzled you for fear of you biting a the next customer. Humans here were a commodity, prizes, beautiful or smart. In your case deadly. Either way you were just something to be shown off, something to be trophied. This was taught to you at a young age when you were ripped from your litter. Humans could be breed like common dogs and you were often separated at birth. You had gotten lucky, you were a wildling only found by the Winchester who generously took you in. Then you were torn from your adopted brother’s , Dean, grip as your mother Mary lay dying. 

The loud bang of a shackle being tightened pulled you from memory, the motion should have cause some pain. Should have. You were blind to the pain it was suppose to cause as you were to the words being shouted. Everyone else was lined and bound in rope, they were too scared to run, to fight for the lives they rightfully deserved. That thought alone made you sick to your stomach, yet here you were bound to a wooden stake, metal digging into long cut and bruised wrist and for what? The simple fact that you weren’t willing to accept this fate, this world. You knew something better was out past the walls of the city you’d been dragged into. You could recall the taste of fresh berries that Mary would give you and an infant Sam. She’d braid flowers into your hair and dean would help you make trinkets. Dean was the one who taught you how to fight. 

A ringing filled your ears, you knew the language of high nobles. Enochian. John Winchester had taught you many different languages. Enochian was one that rang in your mind. As bone tired, malnourished, and weak as you were your brain still functioned as it translated the words as if they were your first language. 

“And this one?” Your eyes raised to see the accuser. 

Wings. Not just any wings, six of them. Oh joy he was a high angel, archangel, and by the cocky smirk he was part of what you fondly referred to as the dick squad. 

“Um she’s a wildling my lord Lucifer. Hence her current state.”

“A wildling hm?” He lifted your chin turning your head which ever way he pleased, a snarl rumbled from your throat and he let out an amused sound. 

He was lucky you were muzzled, if not he’d lost a finger at the least. He looked you over slowly, taking in your value. E/c gems raged with an everlasting fire, flames that coiled much like white hellfire in them. Your body was bruised, malnourished and filled the scars, h/c hair was in a disarray and dirt covered every inch of your body. This didn’t stop you from glaring at the archangel with all the anger in your soul, standing proud and refusing to back down from his eyes. You wouldn’t be bought, the man would have to fight for that. 

“I think she’ll do perfectly.” He mused and handed over more than you were worth to the slaver, then your lashes were released only to be chained again. 

The second your feet hit the cobblestones you struggled, yanking painfully on the chains and digging your feet into the rock. You didn’t care that your wrist were raw enough that they were starting to bleed, nor the pain of rocks stabbing into your feet. The angel raised his eyebrow a bit, a perfect pick if not too perfect. He truly wanted to see how far you’d take this and with a snap your muzzle was released. 

“You son of a bitch!” You snarled in the middle of the square that quieted, it was often punishment that derived from such words to a new master, “Let me go you bastard! I said let me go!”

Your mouth also was something you had picked up from Dean over the years. Every curse you knew, every derogatory word you could think of flew from your chapped lips. Your voice cracked tons of time but that didn’t stop your shouts and struggling. Lucifer was pleased, rightly so. You weren’t for him oh no but for his younger brother. Castiel. The angel hadn’t picked a pet yet and it was high time he did, Lucifer being so generous picked one for him. The angel was sure to have his hands full. 

“I hope someone guts you, hangs you with your own intestines!” The square was still in shock as you were forced into a cage, that didn’t stop you from banging on the walls of it nor the continuous threats. 

Oh yes you were PERFECT for Castiel.


	2. Collared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a taste at what is expected of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I welcome critiques and corrections! I promise these will get longer I'm just getting everything started. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

Your voice had finally given out with all your screaming, your hands were bleeding along with your wrists at this point. You sat with a righteous glare, if only looks could kill. The carriage finally stopped at what seemed to be a mansion. It was a glorious sight with the taste only highlings could offer. After the momentary awe though you were back in fighting mode as your chains were tugged on. 

“Oh stop being such a bother, you’ll like it here.” The sarcasm dripping in his voice made you want to throttle the angel.   
Your feet hit slick pristine floors and you winced as the rocks dug deeper into your feet not having any traction. The angel whistled and to your disgust fellow humans rushed up like obedient dogs, you were to be cleaned and presented to your new master. You growled even more as they forcibly removed you from the angel, you caught his name as Master Lucifer. The servants had a hard time cleaning you from head to toe and brushing your hair. Making you shine and sparkle like an obedient bitch.

Your hands were clasped in chains once you were dressed in what you could only describe as a belly dancers skirt, it truly only perfectly layered strips of fabric and a simple slide of cloth to cover your chest. The tube-top cupped the bottom of your cleavage and twisted in the middle to create the illusion of a bikini top with more cloth wrapping around your breasts. It was blue though. An impossible shade of blue, it varied between the sea and the open sky and if you going to be honest the color was gorgeous. Your wounds had been healed with some angel’s grace, where it came from you shuddered to even think.

A harsh yank was given to your golden and gemmed chains and you snarled, you could hear something happening. It sounded like a banquet of some kind and as you walked in you saw just that. Food piled upon the tall tables some of it not even touched. Your mouth watered but you refused to give them the pleasure of seeing that. Your chain was laced through a hold in the ground, the hard pull sent you to the floor. Your knees spread to make a V shape as your body was forced between your legs. A makeshift groveling bow if you will. The skirt revealed your legs, letting the angels gain a healthy look of your body. You on the other hand were furious, your upper body righted itself you began to pull on the chains bound on your wrist. 

Lucifer laughed and you snarled, animalistic from deep in your throat. The ferocity caused some of the staff to flinch as you boiled with hatred. That’s when he decided to speak. 

“On this glorious celebration I should like to display my gift to our young birthday boy.” He motioned to the angel sitting a few chairs from him. 

He had black unruly hair to match the onyx wings behind him, his face was obviously chiseled by god and those eyes. They were the purest blue you’d ever seen. That’s when it hit you, the blue of your dress it matched his eyes. You’d been color coded. Though his face remained almost stone like his eyes were filled with a mix of guilt, compassion and maybe pity. You didn’t know what to make of him. 

“The first time she’s been still all day, you should feel honored Castiel.” Lucifer made a jab at you and you began to struggle to stand. 

They all watched but with some disbelief when you actually got to your feet. The chain creaked and groaned as you yanked on the weigh, your arms would surely pop out of place but you didn’t care about the pain. They’d taken everything, at least you showed some pride. 

“Even so, you might want to train her a little bit first, she doesn’t take kindly to orders. The mouth on this one is simply…” he made a sucking noise, “ finger licking good.”

The disgust that ran wild through your body nearly made you shake. You couldn’t speak, your voice was so hoarse you couldn’t form words in retaliation to the his comment. 

“Brother, I appreciate the offer bu-” Castiel’s gravely voice tried to coaxed his brother’s attention off of you. 

“Look Castiel, either you take her. Or I will.” The hidden and double meaning washed over you causing a shiver to run down your spine. 

The young angel stiffened the flew down to you, up close he was almost intoxicating but you blamed that on the fact you hadn’t had any contact with others for a long time. 

“You’re hurting yourself. Just sit, it’ll ease the pressure on your arms…” You knew it would however you refused until a soft almost nonexistent word slid from his lips, “please.”

The angels slightly became appalled as you slowly did as he requested, you sat down though with a look of some dignity. Even the smug bastard Lucifer raised an eyebrow. You stared up at him and he gave a small sigh before leaning down. 

“My sincerest apologies….” There was a sudden weight around your neck and your growled. 

It was the same as his eyes, the collar on you. This was it. You’d been claimed, bought and now with his collar on your neck you were forced into whatever life he wanted you to be in.


	3. Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm churning these out quickly am I not? They're getting longer, I promise it'll pick up pace just have to get everything set. Critiques and corrections welcomed :)

Your eyes met with Lucifers and you glared as Castiel moved away, “Thank you for the gift brother. It is acceptable and appreciated.”

“I’m glad we agree on her. Here, she looks parched. You should give her some water.” It was meant as an insult. 

Castiel took a cup the table to give, letting you keep dignity but his arm was grabbed, “Now now brother. She’s a pet, even if a pretty one.”

“I was unprepared for the gift Lucifer. Therefore i have no bowl.” He was trying to sidestep and walk around it. 

‘Bowl? The mother f-’ 

“Oh? How rude of me. I have one here, it belongs to one of the others but i’m sure it’s acceptable for her.” He presented a bowl and you snarled at it. 

You weren’t going to be treated as a dog! You yanked on the chain, instead of back you were pushing forwards. The archangel sent you a look of amusement, you wanted no more than to carve it off his face. Tear his wings off, choke him with his own halo. As you pulled something brushed at you. Well not you physically, it was a press against your mind. Like the prelude to a headache, it was pressure. This wasn’t a hurt though it seemed almost as a pleading, desperate.  
You tried to push it away but it seemed to fight back with a vengeance. 

‘If you don’t stop it will only get worse.’ The gruff voice was registered somewhere in your mind. 

You were enraged and beyond reasoning, he was going to try and make you drink from a bowl. Lucifer was trying to turn you into a bloody house pet. It was a rough hand, calloused from a weapon more than not, that pulled you from your thoughts of trying to kill the feathered dick. Castiel’s glare on you were harsh and unrelenting. The angel practically screamed power and command, but yours did as well. It was a different type of command but it was command none the less. You were making sure he knew how angry you were, how furious and humiliating this is. You growled and tried to yank out of his grasp but it only tightened, it didn’t hurt but it was present.

He was staring you down and you refused to look away much to his surprise. All he’d ever seen was submissive human, they bowed their heads, they stayed silent and made no attempts at going against orders. From the faint lines of scars and previous wounds that were healed showed that you had fought against this before. Resisted. It was admirable but foolish. Lucifer would not tolerate this. He’d turn your life into a living hell as it was even if you were Castiel’s, with your nature though. He’d turn violent against you regardless of ownership or worse. Castiel NEEDED you to understand that he was trying to protect you. 

The grace that had been used to heal you sparked up and the prodding feeling returned much to your agitation and you tried to force it away. But it sparked up and felt less like prodding and more like a sharp jab that had you yelping out in pain. Castiel sent you an apologetic look as you held your head. Clapping had you both staring at said person. 

“Bravo Castiel bravo. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be that assertive before. Look how well you’re already training her. Now come lets feast to you little brother.” You could scream in rage but that prodding again forced you to stay silent. 

Your chain was slackened and handed to Castiel who looked away in shame, at least Lucifer had forgotten about the bowl. He was holding it loosely, almost as if he was about to drop it. Instead he softly beckoned you to follow. You stood and heard the audible pop of your knees and it almost made want to drop back down. The pain shooting up your legs caused you to bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood. You instead focused on following the onyx feathers that dragged against the ground. They must be huge when they’re unfurled. 

The banquet continued as if nothing happened. Castiel had gotten a servant to fetch a pillow for you to sit on. You were thankful yet spiteful all the same. It relieved the pain on your knees and was soft but it just showed you how much more you were as a pet. The angels made merry, joked, complimented Castiel on his first pet, made passing jokes to each other. All the while you picked at the chains on your wrists. You’d feel that prod much less prominent more like a passing over, as if someone were going to check on your behavior or such instead of stabbing agony. 

Your wrists were raw again with how much you had been rubbing the cuffs. You didn’t care of the food around you nor that ache of your throat, you simply wanted out. That was all. The attention was brought back when you received a tug on the chains. Castiel had stood up and you followed the motion. He thanked everyone and announced his retirement to his chambers. You began pulling at the chain and trying to get friction on the too slick floor. 

“Stop. If you don’t then Lucifer will come over here.” You glared at the command and gave a rough yank but eventually followed him. 

His room was...amazing. The walls were mostly bookshelves from floor to ceiling, weapons, instruments, even a small thing of games. You decided that the angel was more to himself than the bastard lucifer. He led you over to...well..you really had very little idea to describe it but nest. It had a frame that was a square, the inside was nothing but a large pillow, even the sides were pillows. There was a thin sheet and more pillows. A lot of pillows. He guided you to the opening having you sit down, the chains were taken off you within seconds. The skin raw, irritated and near bleeding shone even more brightly against the lit space. 

“You shouldn’t struggle with those on, all they do is cause pain. Lucifer designed them that way.” He grumbled before moving to grab something in a cup. 

You looked at him suspiciously, “It’s alright, i didn’t do anything to it. It’s only water, for your throat. I don’t want you putting yourself in any more agony.”

You took a sip and found relief, without thinking much you took the liquid greedily. Something else curled with the liquid. It was odd...a pleasant yet foreign feeling. Warm. Bright, yet almost electric. That’s when you realized what it was. The angels called it Grace. You didn’t know drinking it was possible though. You looked down to see it glowing brightly, a shade of green. Angel’s grace was part of them...it was the equivalent of a soul...with a clipped sound the glass fell and the last of the grace fell. The liquid splashed and spilled at your feet, some of it sloshing against your skin. Castiel tilted his head and stared unaware of your recognition. 

“G-grace. I was drinking...where did you get that?” Your voice trembled at the question.  
The angel’s wings shifted, he wondered what your voice was. He hadn’t heard anything beyond your growls and he wasn’t expecting your voice to sound so...lovely. He couldn’t tell why he didn’t like the tone though, you seemed displeased to say the least. 

“It’s simply grace. Some of the...lower angels donate it.” He watched you shudder, it was an automatic reaction to want to cease the motion“We don’t take all of it. We just take what we need to keep you alive.”

“You mean to keep your pets alive. I won’t be one of your toys.” You could feel the wince even though you’d never seen it. 

“I apologize, I don’t intend to do so. What Lucifer did was cruel and unnecessary. I apologize for it.” There it was again, that warmth. 

Castiel didn’t truly realize what he was doing, he just wanted you to calm down. He didn’t understand how his own Grace reached out to your soul and watched it light up. Under his touch the soul reacted openly. It didn’t reach out for his Grace but didn’t recoil like most mortal’s did. Normally a soul was too delicate to brush against, especially with his Grace. But this soul was bared, it was wild and brave. Rare to find in these times, the soul tinged with a darkness though. It diluted the pure color of it yet that was easily cast aside in the full power that was your soul. It held a unique allure that was magnetizing. 

You felt whatever the press was warm and reach, it was the same enjoyable stroking against something deep in your gut. It wasn’t hard to realize that he was responsible for it. You were torn between telling him to stop and playing dumb letting the feeling continue. The feeling was too soft, too kind, you settled for the first option. 

“I don’t know what you’re doing but stop it.” The glare could set fire to someone’s soul. 

The feeling retracted as he obeyed. That was a first for you. An angel obeying? He was...not what you expected when you’d first been forced here. He reacted to your harsh command with kind obedience…

“I feel as if you have me at a disadvantage.” The gruff voice pulled you from your thoughts. 

“How?” He gathered from the raised eyebrow you were very animated in your speaking. 

“You know my name, but I don’t have the pleasure of yours.” Pleasure?

Well, wasn’t he just charming? You bit your lip in debation of telling him or not, then again you didn’t want to test your luck. 

“________________.” The edges of his lips quirked up just slightly, pleased at your honesty.  
“It’s lovely, thank you.” You didn’t mean for your heart to skip, it was just. 

The eloquence he was speaking with, you’d never heard such things since John lavished you with the words as praise for his adopted daughter. It was nice to hear even if he was lying or not. You didn’t know at the moment. 

“So what do I have to call you? Don’t expect me to call you master because I’d rather cut out my own tongue before i utter those words.” He was taken back at the statement but understood. 

You were fierce and it was a beautiful shine to your soul. He didn’t reach out to the light yet, respecting that you’d told him to not to. He was curious of you without doubt though, you were commanding and it was bizarre. That or he hadn’t much experience with humans. No doubt it was a mixture of both but he saw this as a chance to learn. 

“Castiel would be more acceptable.” he tilted his head, eye narrowing on you. 

It made you squirm a little, the gaze was intense, “If you’re going to stare take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Where did this unbridled cheekiness come from?

“Picture?” You were baffled by the questioning look upon his features, “I don’t have much knowledge on that.”

“Yea. Ya know, photo. Picture. Polaroid?” His action reminded you of a puppy with its face and position. 

“I don’t understand.” Oh, boy. 

After spending at least twenty minutes explaining what a picture was and how it got there. Why it had to have certain lenses, why it had to be right lighting did he finally understand. Boiling the entire lecture down to the summary of a picturing being a mirror with a permanent fixture. Well at least he got it. 

“But why would I need a picture if you’re sitting in front of me?” You couldn’t help dropping your head with a sigh. 

“Never mind Castiel.” You tested the name out as it rolled across your tongue. 

It was somehow fitting regal yet at the same time a name befitting a warrior. You were about to ask what you were supposed to do when a knock came from the door making you jump. 

“I hope you and your new friend are clothed Cassie!” The voice held a playful tone that had you blushing and Cas groaning in irritation. 

“What do you want Gabriel?” Castiel’s tone was one of sheer annoyance, you’d often carried it when you were younger and with Dean. 

The angel waltzed in with a sway of arrogance and self confidence. A large man, tall with long brown hair and eyes that were such a green it made your heart ache. You knew that color. He was….familiar in a way you couldn’t place. You felt a sudden protectiveness settle in your chest along with alarm. 

“Sam?”


	4. Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Castiel isn't an angel to be lumped in the group of bad experiences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v2/1459897103_1/F002-2-WOMEN-Silver-Plating-Cuff-SLAVE-font-b-BRACELET-b-font-font-b-Connected-b.jpg you will understand when you get there, i tried to describe them as best I could but sometimes a picture can't hurt. As always cruitques and corrections are welcomed and encouraged! Thank you for reading and please enjoy!

The giant of a man took in your form with skepticism, “ Do I know you?”

“Yes! I mean you did, I mean. Oh, I’m doing this all wrong aren’t I?” You glanced at Cas who was no help at all in the social department, you stood and rushed over. 

You were only a few feet from him and Castiel felt the tug at his lips. Your soul was shining with recognition and joy, Sam’s was slowly kindling. 

“I’m ______________. I’m your sister, well adopted sister. I made flower crown for you when you were a baby, with Dean and your mom. Mary Winchester? You father? John?” You explained hoping to cause some kind of reaction besides bewilderment from him and the angel next to him. 

“Flower crowns? Lavender and rosemary!” His face split into a grin. 

He had very few memories of his early youth but that was always one. The scent of Lavender and Rosemary that settled atop his head, a soft smile to accompany it and a sweet voice saying his name. You felt arms wrapped around you as you were lifted into a hug that nearly knocked the breath out of you. You laughed as your feet didn’t touch the ground, he’d grown tall. 

“Seems our two friends know each other.” Gabriel gave a joyed grin at that. 

He liked when Sam was happy. It would spread through the tether through their bond and he couldn’t describe the content at the tall man’s joy. His soul would flare up like a beacon and Gabriel could stay their swimming in the bond. When he set you down you beamed up at him. 

“Oh my god look how big you’ve gotten! You’re like a freaking tree! Is Dean here too?!” Your excitement bubbled through your body with ease. 

“Yea! He’s the mechanic for the mansion. He should be in kitchens right now. Gabe?” He looked to the angel for permission before grabbing you and running out the hallway, it would register later that the angel hadn’t answered the moose of a man. 

Gabriel smiled, his grace tied into Sam’s soul telling him it was perfectly fine for his mate to go. You sped down the elegant halls, you had no time to admire the intricate carvings on the walls nor the various stones embedded into some of the doors. You didn’t even realize the weight around your wrists, the clasp of something on your fingers and the light touch of metal against the back of your hand as you moved. 

All you could think was Dean. You were going to be able to see him after 20 years without a word from your “brother”. The exhilarating emotion washing through you until you reached the kitchens. It was filled instead with dread and doubt. What if he didn’t recognize you? What if he...then you saw him. He wore a collar that was almost iridescent, no cuffs but still. He was currently stuffing his freckled face with pie. His eyes still shone the familiar emerald, his hair had gotten darker but not much and was slightly spiked. 

“Dean.” Sam had excitedly called out you were sure but to be honest you heard it as if he were muffled, even with him standing next to you. 

The elder Winchester flicked his eyes up, the fork stopped halfway to fixate on you. His eyes took in your form, the way you stood, the familiar face. You were biting your lip nervously but relaxed at the familiar profanity. 

“Son of a bitch.” He leapt up to run over, the apple pie forgotten. 

You were embraced in a harsh grip, tears watered your eyes. He remembered you, Sam knew you. You were with them after being torn from your litter as a child. He kept you in the embrace, he smelled of oil, trees and a musk simply his own. You clutched to the jacket he had on burying your face in his chest, he was here. Finding a shred of joy in this hell you were certain the mansion was. 

“ _____________. Jesus look at you. You’re...you look good sis.” you let out a dry laugh. 

“You should have seen me earlier.” He laughed tilting your head to observe the scars. 

A vague and fading imprint that the muzzle had left on you caused a frown. He was deadly possessive of his family even when you were children. You pushed his hand away with a grin, you were just happy he was alive. You had to get up on the very edge of your tip toes to wrap an arm around him and even then you were using him as leverage to yank down the tall man. Sam laughed as you brought the elder Winchester down and gave him the biggest noogie you could conjure. For this moment it seemed as if everything faded away. You weren’t some pet, none of you had collars, there were no angels nor too elegant stone walls encasing you. It was just your siblings and the laughter coiling in the air. 

Some of the staff looked on with complete and utter shock as it filled the air, the sense of joy though was snuffed out with a simple flapping of wings. Sam had seemed to freeze and Dean growled, it was a spiking feeling and you could swear the scent of sulfur came with the wing’s sound. It a subconscious movement between the three of you, Dean had stood in front of you, you in front of Sam. Even if he could obviously hold himself it was still a comfort to protect him. The angel that had made himself known was Lucifer. 

“Well, well, isn’t this just sweet? The whole gang’s back together then, if I’d known that I’d bought you sooner Pet.” The snarl rolling from your throat was enough to rival a beast, “I see brother dearest hasn’t even come close to dealing with your growling problem. Even if you’ve been here a handful of moments I was so certain that at least the other servants would fill you in on how to behave.”

The room was speckled with the same servants that had seen you at the feast and to look at them was to make your stomach churn. It was a mixture of disgust and pity that bubbled in your gut, they were broken. All of them. Even Dean kept his mouth still, Sammy only glared but you...You really needed to learn when to speak and when not to. 

“I am behaving. Especially in presence of a pompous prick such as yourself. Or did I forget to curtsy?” You snarled and this propelled the angel into motion. 

Before you blinked the scent of sulfur invaded your senses and you fought to smother the bile rising in your throat to the sudden intrusion. He raised his hand to strike you, the slap you were waiting on but it never came. You didn’t take your eyes off him relishing in the sudden shock as his wrist was encircled by a rough grip. A fighter’s hands. You traveled the length of them, from the grip that would bruise any human to skin pulled over taunt muscles to a scruffy face set in a glare. If you weren’t so sure that the look was not at you he would scare you, even if only a little bit. 

“Brother.” Lucifer’s eyes never left yours, the chill in it was unnerving to be sure and you were thankful of Dean was in front of you with…

So that’s also why Lucifer froze, it was subtle but he had nearly walked into a blade. It was jagged edged with what looked like blood grooves in it.You could feel the grip on your shoulder, Sam was pulled taut and ready to snatch you behind him. You were a Winchester. You were family and he’d be damned if you were hurt. The world stilled, if it stopped moving that wouldn’t surprise anyone. The whole kitchen was trained on you, Dean, Castiel and Lucifer. Waiting. You had performed an act of sacrilege. Insulting an ANGEL of all things... 

Castiel couldn’t help it, not even if he tried. The warmth that washed over you wash absolute and seeking reason. You could ‘feel’ him seeking for something, anything off about you. When he found nothing, did Castiel lower his brother’s arm. 

“Fiery pet of yours. You’d do well to teach the woman some respect in front of her superiors.” The gaze upon your face changed from anger to a dark intrest treading into a place you’d rather not go. 

“She’s mine to do with as I wish according to law. This includes her teachings and I would appreciate if you kept your hands off of her.” His normally gruff voice dropped to a dangerous and feral sound. 

The smirk he shot Castiel was playful, “ of course baby brother.”

The tension slowly eased as Dean’s knife hid itself back in the folds of his clothing, Lucifer sent a lewd smirk your way and was gone taking the smell of sulfur with him. The kitchen settled back into a steady pace of directions being given, food being cooked, and idle chatter. You had to force yourself not to gulp in clean air, however one small thing remained. Castiel’s glare had gone from the now gone archangel to you. A shiver spiraled up the length of your spine and to be truthful you didn’t know if it was out of caution or not. 

It was softened from before but still irked, “What?”

His eyes narrowed and he had an expression as if debating on telling you or not. Dean cut in for him oddly enough. 

“Luce is kinda the main flow around here, _____________. Messing with him ends up...messy.” Dean looked to Sam who found the ground amazingly interesting. 

“Main flow or not he needs someone to knock his skull in if he treats us like this! Look around you Dean, he has them all on chains and acts like he’s a god. No one should live in chains.” You snarled as the oldest Winchester stared pointedly at your wrists. 

You were bewildered at the cuffs on your wrists, you were more than positive Cas had taken your chains off before you left the room. Your first 3 fingers had silver rings wrapped almost too perfectly against your skin. Small and thin chains attached them to a silver cuff. Both the cuff and rings had lovely swirl designs and 2 small silver orbs were clasped to either side of the cuffs. If they didn’t signify a metaphorical leash to your collar you had half a mind to think they were almost elegant and beautiful. You turned with an indignant stare that rivaled the angel’s own. 

“And WHAT exactly are these?” The angels arms crossed his chest and with an honest blank face and dry sarcasm he replied. 

“They look like cuffs ___________.” okay, ouch.

The tone and impassive look hurt like a pinprick, it was a stab at your ego and in traditional Winchester fashion you rose to meet it without wit but more anger. Dean hadn’t seen you in 20 years and STILL you retained streaks of his attitude. They were woven deep into you, a mechanisim to cover up your other feelings. Snark, an odd charm, mouth worse than a sailor to cover up every other emotion, save for anger. You were really really good at anger, espically with angels. 

“Take them off me.” Each word was hissed through your teeth. 

“I can’t.” You couldn’t sense the earnesty behind your vexation. 

“Like hell you can’t, take them off now.” He sighed rubbing his head apparently you were just as hard headed as the boys and just as unknowing about the customs as they once were. 

“___________________. He really can’t.” You whirled around on Sam, you had to recall he was too young to remember that night and kept your mouth shut, “ It’s how they know who we bel-..who we’re afixed with. Look tons of other servants have blue on, your collar is only one way and it’s sometimes easier to specify us. I wear Gabriel’s and it’s only when we have to.” 

The golden braces on his wrist weren’t as elegant as your own, more bulky and just cuffs. Angels did have good taste in accessories though didn’t they? The gold was laced with all kinds of designs and recurring one was feathers. 

“Oh so now is a time I have to?” Your hands fell on your hips and Dean actually winced. 

He’d seen that motion before, no matter what age he knew what it meant. You weren’t just angry oh no Sam was poking as a bear with a stick. This was your subtle rage that boiled just beneath his skin and Dean knew it. 

“Yes.” You had almost forgotten that Cas wasn’t gone and just chose to stay silent. 

“And why exactly is that?” You demanded shifting your weight and jutting your hip out. 

The angel didn’t know what the motion meant but if your brothers’ reaction to the movement showed anything it revealed that this was a fear worthy motion. 

“Because you’re out of my quarters, should you leave them then your cuffs appear.” It was a silent begging in the back of your mind to not make a scene out of this. 

You were literally someones PET. You couldn’t walk outside of the doggie door without having to put on a collar and leash and even more so you had to behave when another dog owner addressed you like filth. You took a deep breath held it until 10 the released it, the more you did it the more Castiel tilted his head. He seemed to mentally be taking notes on you it and was unnerving. 

“Okay...okay. Are you two going to show me around and let me get the ropes or am I going to be left to fend for myself?” The tone was teasing but the question was earnest. 

“Nah we’ll just feed you to the wolves.” Sam snickered a little before nudging Dean in a playful manner. 

“C’mon don’t be a jerk.” Your youngest brother snorted. 

“Bitch.” Castiel swore is you smiled any wider your face would split in two. 

Dean looked over your shoulder with a nod and you felt the angel leave. You quickly forgot about Cas in favor of learning Gabriel’s favorite candy, Dean’s “Baby” that he swore upon his pie to show you and the bizarreness that was angel food. It even looked off, while a normal piece of meat had that light shine to it revealing its tender goodness there's actually shone like polished shined. Sam saw the look of curiosity on your face and smashed your dreams of stealing a bite, he didn’t know why but everyone who’s taken a bite just leaves the mansion. The apple found itself put ,with feverish haste, back into it’s spot. There was no way on heaven, earth or hell you’d be separated from your kin. 

On another hand you met some very...interesting people. A man named Benny who’s southern draw had the same effect a warm fire did. It rumbled and you could tell it would soothe you should it feel the need. He was Dean’s second closest friend, when you asked who the first was he avoided the question by placing a red haired woman in your view. Charlie was...well...you couldn’t really think of a word for her. She and Dean shared a bond that was a mixture of confusion and joy. The things that came out of her mouth you didn’t understand, like larping? Dean promised to take you once Saturday swearing up and down that you’d love it. You agreed much to the amusement on Sam’s face. 

Then a Jess, Meg, Ruby, Ellen, Jo and Ash. A scrawny boy name Garth, and a man ,Dean used special snark for, who was “God with writing skills” named Chuck.That’s pretty much everyone you could meet before being whisked away by Jo and Ellen. Ellen you learned was Jo’s mother, and one hell of a cook.The smells that poured from this woman’s gift were holy, Jo got a laugh out of that. A tray of food had been fixed and to your disappointment it was for the angel. His supper apparently. 

“He’s just luck I don’t spit in it.” You glowered darkly. 

“Hey do you even know the way back?” Dean had caused you to pause, the scrunched expression on your face told him all he needed, “ I’ll help kay sis?”

You grinned and balanced the tray with ease on your hip. The walk was filled with comfortable conversation, simple and happy until you reached the door. A nasty frown marred your features and Dean sighed, it was a morose sound. 

“You know….you shouldn’t be so resentful to Cas….” You had never wanted to strangle your brother this much in your life. 

“Oh and why is that?” You snapped, eyes rivaling the fires of hell. 

“Cas saved me ________________. He dragged me out of a place that I didn’t think anyone could. I was condemned and Castiel he just...just came in one day and pulled me out.” He mustered up the will to look in your now very confused gaze. 

“Condemned? Dean they put you on Death Row?” You voice shook with fear and anxiety. 

“I was technically dead for 3 hours. They didn’t burn me, instead just took to much time to bury me. I don’t know what happened, I try to forget, but then I was waking up to the first pile of dirt being thrown on my face. There was Castiel with the most perplexed but knowing look on his face. His wings were messed up from a fight he had gotten in over if they were going to let him take me or not. He won.” You felt the breath punched out of you, the tray trembled just slightly and you had to physically force yourself to breathe again. 

Dean had DIED. He had been put on Death Row. It was Castiel who revived him, who clasped him tight and pulled him from Perdition. Your emotions were warring with your memories, the wisps of being torn from John’s grasp and fire so much fire. Yet here was an angel that had saved your family. He didn’t have to choose Dean. There were no doubt many more on Death Row but out of all of them he chose your brother. He watched your shoulders slump and a certain crack, even if very small, had been chiseled on that massive chip on your shoulder. 

“Alright...I’ll give him a chance.” That’s all Dean needed for the moment was for the angel to have a chance.


	5. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories are dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's a little late! I hope this makes up for it. As always I welcome critiques and corrections. Thank you for reading and please enjoy!

You pushed the door open with gentle ease and found Castiel hunched over something in the corner, sunlight shining off the relaxed wings. They almost casted light off of them in small rainbows. It was definitely a sight worth looking for. You took in the spot he inhabited, it had sketch pads among other artistic things. That’s funny, you didn’t know that he had a thing for art, and he seemed extremely focused from the lack of notice when you walked into the room. 

You needed to give him a chance. He saved Dean, he was allowed a chance, he deserved a chance. When you were closer he lifted his wings to shield the drawing of whatever, maybe he wasn’t so blind to your presences as you thought. You cleared your throat and he turned, the silence was almost shy, maybe even apologetic? 

“Are you going to eat this or am I?” You snarked and his eyes narrowed. 

“That wouldn’t be a good idea, besides it’s not actual food.” He answered putting away the paper before you had a chance to sneak a peek.

He gratefully took the odd shining food, biting into it gently. You couldn’t help the glare at a dribble of juice glistening against those lips. He heard the faint rumbled of your stomach as you sat with a sigh. It was just the soft snap of his fingers before something warm was sitting in your lap. It was a pseudo hamburger...Your eyes widened and mouth watered, without any thought of if it was poisoned or not you bit into the tender meat. 

“Not food? So let me get this straight. You don’t eat food?” Castiel shook his head, “ Then why the banquet for your birthday.”

“It’s not exactly food. It’s special. If i were to eat the food you’ve been given they’d taste like...molecules.” He motioned to the food in your lap. 

“So it’s like Fae food. Only you can eat it and actually live off it.” He nodded proud that you were able to learn that, “In the kitchen they said the humans that did eat left and didn’t come back. Why?”

Even if he was trying to not visibly tense his wings did, “The kitchen has much gossip doesn’t it?”

“Yes, but you didn’t answer my question.” You were easily becoming irritated, it was ingrained in you from childhood. 

Dean had better be thankful that you were trying to give him a chance or he’d more than not be dangling by a rope or perhaps the cuffs’ chain? Yea that seemed like a good fantasy. Angel strangled his slave’s cuff chain. Except one small problem, you couldn’t imagine onyx wings, instead those wings were 6 instead of 2. The smell of sulfur, blonde hair...Just like that you were put off your appetite. The warrior raised an eyebrow at the motion, you were hungry he could feel that much without invading your space. 

“Not to your liking?” He motioned to the food after biting into a glossy apple. 

“Not hungry.” You snorted, arms wrapping around your midsection.

“You know ______________. Lying is a sin.” Your laughter came out as a bark more than anything else.

“Oh? Is it now, Feathers?” He tilted his head at the nickname, he’d just gotten used to Dean’s calling him Cas instead of Castiel, it was a cute look on him to be honest. 

No. Bad___________. No thinking the killer is adorable. Instead you coughed away the feeling and absentmindedly picked at a bread chunk before actually eating it. Jo had said you’d have to need the strength for tomorrow. Ellen apparently intended to use you to the best of her abilities if Castiel hadn’t anything for you. You were still put off but you were more or less force eating, the soft warmth coiled in your being and you wanted to sigh into that. The phantom feeling of worry, curiosity and another hint of concern washed over you. He was doing it again, that thing. Same as at the banquet, this weird reaching out and sensing thing that you didn’t know if it was good or not yet. But the taste of crispness in your mouth, freezing cold and yet so relieving, helped the lack of appetite ease. You let it slide this time as you both continued to eat, Castiel had this ability to make starring a worldwide sport if he so wished. 

“Something you wanna tell me? Because if you stare any harder you’ll burn a hole through my skin.” He seemed taken back. 

“I don’t understand that reference.” You sighed and rubbed your temples not caring to explain the lingo, “To answer your question I was merely curious as to why you do that.”

“Do what?” You asked over a particularly big bite of burger. 

“The breathing you had done earlier in the kitchens. You held your breath. Why, you were obviously furious but not even Dean does that when he’s angry.” The angel explained staring as if the answer would pop out of your forehead. 

“Oh. That’s my control. Instead of beating someone’s face in I breath. Mom, Mary, taught me that when I was little.” Your voice was clenched, and tight. 

This wasn’t information for him but you’d promised, you promised to give him a chance. Open up a bit.

‘It’s for Dean. Castiel brought him back. For Dean.’ You chanted in your mind trying to keep the mantra stable in your head, trying to force the unease and tension from yourself. 

“I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable to talk about her, it’s my fault I’d brought it up.” He chastised himself. 

You rolled your eyes, “If you’re going to apologize for everything you bring up it’s going to be a long day.”

He chuckled, a deep grating sound that was pleasing to your ears. The shaking of his shoulders were slight with the movement. It was soothing...why you didn’t have the closest idea? It just was. 

“I was told to ask what my duties were.” You ground out trying to keep it curious. 

“Duties? Erm...I honestly do not understand. I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to ask of you since you are indeed different than most of the humans I’ve interacted with.” He was using elegant words, he was nervous, confused maybe. 

You inwardly grinned at being able to pick that up. Reading people could be very difficult especially with the sudden drop into the most admirable poker face he seemed to conjure.

“I can’t be that different.” He raised an accusing eyebrow, “You dealt with Dean, I can’t be much different.”

“You stood up against Lucifer. No one does that. No one. Not even your brother ___________. They just don’t. Lucifer has some bad habits and isn’t above abusing his power. Just...try and not antagonize him.” He was mixed between pleading and demanding. 

He wasn’t sure what tone to use with you, Dean was pacified by his calm demands but you. You were a spark he couldn’t quite sort through as easily. A hurricane of emotions and scars both mental and not. It was just chaos. Dean was chaotic but he had a set path and cleared everything else from his mind. Yours was too caught on strands of your past, clutched unwillingly by phantom pains. 

“Antagonize him? It’s not my fault that he doesn’t know when to shut his damn mouth. I’m NOT some dog for him to scoff at or rough up because he doesn’t like a taste of his own medicine.” You growled, and Castiel was in awe. 

Not only your attitude but the way your soul flared out in pure light. It was amazing. You reacted so purely to what was happening around you and how you felt about things. He’d hardly seen a soul besides the Winchester brothers give so freely. 

“No.” Your eyes snapped to his with the hellish glare before he quickly explained himself, “I mean no as in you’re not property. You’re not a being to objectify. You’re right.”

Once again he tilted your world, he was agreeing with you? The angle of all beings was AGREEING that you were to not be treated like animals. That was new and surprisingly pleasant to hear. You hadn’t notice when you’d finished the burger, to busy by talking to the angel and explaining things. He need a serious culture shock, he knew so little about humans despite being around them his whole life. It was a silent agreement to walk on eggshells when it came to childhood but other than that it was an eye opener. He didn’t get most references that Dean made so you had to help there, he didn’t understand simple things that made you honestly chuckle and hide your face in your hands with exhaustiveness. You stretched slightly and only then realize how calm you were, and how late it was. 

“So where am I going to sleep? If you think I’m going to be on the floor yo-”

“The bed.” He answered so soundly it seemed as if it were an obvious idea. 

“Where are you going to sleep then?” You fidgeted clearly awkward. 

“I don’t need sleep, angels never have. It’s a perk?” He stood dusting off his robes before snapping. 

In his offering hands were actually modest sleepwear! You sighed and gripped onto the cotton, it smelled like cold. Like crisp autumn breeze, like what had played over you palate to help you eat. You mind slowly connected the scent to Cas. It was saftey, it was warmth despite the chill, it was home? You sighed as he turned around and slipped out of the offending gypsy top and skirt. It making a jingling sound as the heavy parts hit against the floor. You saw his wings twitch a little in slight surprise, he hadn’t expected it to land so heavily, as you slid on the cotton shorts and baggy shirt. It was too enticing, you buried your nose in the scent as the surprisingly soft fabric soothed you. 

“You can turn around.” It was a bit of a struggle not to just snuggle down into it. 

He turned and smiled softly, “You need sleep. It’ll be quite the frantic morning.”

You nodded climbing into the nest like bed. It felt like a cloud, chill yet warm at the same time, forming perfectly to your body and you now understood why the angel said he spent most of his time reading on it. The pillows brushed against you, keeping you in a gentle enclosure. The weightless of the sheet fell over your form. 

“Sleep well ____________.” Was the last sound you would clearly remember. 

The bed was perfect, the air was crisp and you could breath easily. That didn’t stop the turmoil your mind was now spinning into. You were back home. Everything was...fine...It was just fine...A cord snapped in your body though. Something was wrong, something was off with this picture. A creeping in your gut told you it was wrong, all wrong. The tremor of panic that was coiling under your skin was sparked when, in only a few seconds, the entire house was aflame. You’d blinked, just blinked and the house, your home was ablaze with red. You could hear the screams, a baby. A baby was crying, your father’s voice was frantic. Dean was running out. 

“Mommy?!” The scream that tore from your throat was turmoil. 

She wasn’t coming out of the house, she wasn’t getting out. You couldn’t breath, the air was filled with smoke. You were on your hands and knees shaking, you couldn’t breath...The black form was above you. The ground was crumbling, you had to find her. Mommy was saftey, she was life. You’d slipped away from the figure turning to see what no child should ever be subject to. Your mother. Her stomach, the gash was enormous. From hipbone to hipbone, blood seeping through the nightgown. 

Tears ,hot, streamed down your face. No, no this wasn’t happening. No, she couldn’t be dead. Your hands tried to press on the wound and hold whatever blood was leaving her in like Daddy had taught you. It did nothing. The slick and coppery liquid painted your arms, staining you with your mother’s valuable life. No. No. No! Dean was at your side in a second to turn his sister away from the sight. To hide you in the his arms. 

“How precious.” The voice made your skin crawl. 

“Leave us alone you son of a bitch.” Dean growled but it all happened so fast. 

You were gripped onto and ripped from your brother, his nails leaving red marks on your arms, “Let me go! Let me go! No, Dean! Help me! Help!”

You sat up screaming. The tears were hot as they ran down your cheeks, you desperately clawed for something, anything. You couldn’t breath, the world kept fading out or was speckled with black dots. Panic ran through your system without abandon, you only focused when something touched you. The first reaction was to recoil, recede unto yourself. Hide from it but then it simply washed over you. The touch was soft, gentle and soothing. The hands were gruff and worn from weapon use, you were pulled up against something warm. 

The movement made you shake but that was also pacified as the mass began to move. Your chest moved too, breathing. You focused on the movement. Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Breathe out. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. It took your shaking hands clutching onto something. It was wispy in your grip and it caused the the mass to flinch slightly but not stop on breathing slowly, coaxing you to follow. The object in your grip was black and sleek, feathers, your mind was slowly taking things into account. 

The nudge at a chord deep in you was welcomed now, it reached out. Soothed, stroked, caressed with a care that was nothing but adoration. You could sink into that touch, feed off of it’s tender nature. Possessively shielding you, hiding you against the brightness of it. Everything was incredibly dark and blindingly bright, at war with each other but this warmth was offering sanctuary that your tore at. It responded by giving you as much as you took. 

The cool had another taste to it now. It was cinnamon and chocolate, dark, deep and rich. Crisp breeze with the taste in your mouth. 

The flavor was familiar on your palate, “Cas.”

The spinning world was slowing, shifting into stillness. Everything was leveling, he was giving you a hold, giving you a bottom, something you desperately needed. Your body was going lax against his as he reached out with his Grace still tending to you. Yes, you had told him not to but this was something frightening. 

~~~

Castiel was perfectly content in his notch, reading and drawing. His fingers were going to be black from how much he was using the charcoal. Angels were blessed in the arts and drawing was his favorite. He had glanced up from the papers as you began to twist in the bed. Perhaps you weren’t settling well? The angel’s fingers continued to work at the latest drawing until you began to whimper. 

Now something was truly wrong, you were too much like Dean. Too proud to show your cracks, kept everything bottled away. Hid your pain from the world around you in favor of protecting others. Always certain and fixated. You’d never make that sound while someone else was around to hear it. Never. But the broken gasp that escaped your mouth demanded him to stand. He reacted of his own volition but couldn’t deny something more primal was leading him. Protect. Safe. Help. It was a soft mantra grasping at the edges of his mind. He needed you to wake up. You were in pain. 

“_______________. _______________, wake up. Wake up.” His voice raised only to be met with a pitiful whimper of agony. 

Nothing he was saying was getting to you, even when he raised his voice even more. He couldn’t reach your temple from outside the nest so with a cautious movement he slid into the bed. His hand lightly gripped your arm causing you to shoot up and scream. Your eyes were dilated, breathing dangerously uneven. Panic rolled off you in waves and he couldn’t take it. He moved behind you, pulling you against him. Your panting had to be calmed, he let you fall against his chest. You followed his breathing as if by instinct. Letting him lead you away to a stable state. 

Those hands gripped at something and much to his discomfort you found purchase gripping onto his wings. Angel wings were sensitive and he’d trained himself not to respond to touch if they were struck during a battle but you surprised him. The electrical shock made him jump but he took it in stride. You needed him so he was willing to go through what he must, Dean would murder him if anything happened to you. He chose that to the emotion in his gut that coiled and reached out through his veins. 

The Grace reached out with on it’s own inclination. You cringed, your soul cringed. It was darkening by the second, trembling in that pain. It burned with a different light, and empty light, blackness but still bright to him. 

Castiel tried again and let you feel him. Feel the gentleness, tender affection that he had no idea where it sprang from. The soul he reached for this time reached for him, you tore at him. Sinking deep into the Grace and pulling him to you. Your soul frantically sobbed into him, breathing him in. Taking all that you could and he willingly gave. It was an odd feeling, being this close to a soul, having his Grace snatched from him only to be used as a shield. Blanketing you from the rest of the world. Soon you calmed. Your soul had settled itself against his Grace. Not in it but against it much like leaning on another person for help. You were willing and pliant now, thankfully. 

“Cas.” His name was muttere through your lips, body lax in his hold. 

“Sleep ___________. I’ll keep watch over you.” He spoke soothingly, you curled resting your head against his chest. 

He was safe, he was warm and alive. Breathing in his scent your mind lulled itself to sleep using his heartbeat as your lullaby and wings as shields from your nightmares.


	6. Secret or Not...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's secret is unfurled while a new one is just beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta reader is so slow so i'm posting this chapter then I'll nag her to fix it! Until then please accept my terrible grammar. Thank you for reading and please enjoy :)

Something warm splayed against your skin, sunlight. It soothed the air around you, the warmth was welcomed. You sighed and snuggled deeper into the pillow. You’d managed to find a long one too, warm and breathing. Breathing? Pillows don’t breath...You managed to crack open your eyes and what you found startled you into sitting up with a clipped sound. You had been curled up against Castiel. His hand ran down your arm in a soothing manner as you frantically tried to piece things together. Blood, fire, pain...fall air with cinnamon and chocolate. Cas pacifying your panic attack away, promising to watch over you. The warmth and comfort that seemed to have stroked your very soul. He’d done that weird reach out thing and you couldn’t have been more thankful of it. It was present even now, even if his arm had paused to lightly grip your forearm you could feel that prod. It was soothing, inspecting you, seeking for any lingering pains, caressing your hurt. 

You sighed gently and the feeling retracted instead of remaining. He was pulling away from you and you almost, only almost, wanted to reach out for that feeling again. Instead you scooted away from him as he sat up. 

“We don’t have to speak of last night if you do not wish to.” he politely explained and you didn’t fight the grin. 

He knew your boundaries and was willing staying there instead of trying to break down the walls he was waiting for you to do so. It was a bigger comfort than you’d known. You nodded and slid off the bed only to glare at the clothes from yesterday as you bent to pick them up Castiel’s hands gently pulled them away. 

“You won’t need these. Here.” his fingers snapped and thankfully it was normal clothing, “These will do.”

You smiled at the pants and loose shirts, comfortable and were seemingly bathed in that Cas scent. He rolled over on the bed to hide his face in his arms, looking away from you. To be honest you paused for a moment to look at him. His wings were relaxed, not spread out but relaxed, and that clothing fell over his body contouring him. He had a rather fit physique from what you could see at least if his ass was anything to go by, all that angel training did him good. You shook your head before letting your thoughts stray to far and slid on the clothes. 

Only after clearing your throat did he turn to face you, “Um...so those chores?”

He tilted his head, confusion written over his face as if he didn’t know what to do, “right um...go help Ellen?”

You snorted, he sounded so lost and unsure but it made a warmth settled in your chest, “So you’ll get back to me on that, eh?”

He nodded and walked you out, even holding the door open for you. You waved the sentiment off and trotted down the hall. The further you got away the more that feeling in your chest seemed to ache? No. No, not ache but it was a shift. Almost like you were tossed out of your comfort zone and that creeping feeling of misplacement was plucking at your mind. You ignored the urge to reach out for something to keep him there. You shouldn’t be feeling like this, least of all to an angel, least of all the angel that OWNED you. 

‘It’s because he helped out last night. It’s just leftovers from last night’s episode.’ you tried to convince yourself and for the most part it worked.

The sun that beamed across the halls was to late to have been early morning or morning for all at that. You’d slept in until early lunch...that was a new one. You could never get to sleep that late, if not because of the memories then because of the clock in your brain kept you on high alert. Instead of questioning this like you should have you brushed it off, trying to keep your head from drifting back to last night. 

You padded your way to the kitchen, hands subconsciously picking at the elegant metal that weighed on your wrists. The air coaxed a rumble from your stomach as the door to the kitchen opened and god it was glorious. Ellen grinned brightly when you walked over, obviously smelling the cooking meat and trying your best to get closer. The second you reached out to pluck a pepper she was using to marinate the meat and a sharp pain automatically spread from the back of your hand. Yelping in an undignified manner you snatched your hand to your chest, Ellen scowled slightly and it had an automatic reaction of you lowering your shoulders. A child that got their hand caught in the cookie jar perfectly described the situation. 

“Am I going to have to do you like I did Dean? Had to pop his hand more than once.” You shook your head, once was enough, and heard a deep chuckle, Dean.

“It wasn’t always on the hand, this woman has a reach. Tried to take a pepper?” He smirked at your glare. 

“I’m a little hungry bite me.” You snapped but no venom behind the words as Jo walked up shaking her head. 

“So it’s true, you two are siblings after all.” She couldn’t help but smile even wider at the glare you both shot at her, “Oh stop, _____________ I need your help with getting the food to the other angels. Especially Balthazar.” 

Jo didn’t seem to fond of the angel with the sneer, the food was easily lifted onto trays. It surprised you at how light the weight actually was, it wasn’t air but more like carrying a book on your shoulder. Most of the angel like the food to be brought to the door and placed on a small table just inside, didn’t want humans who weren’t their own tainting the room. It was easier for you to not come into any contact so no real complaints. Once you gotten the basic layout of the room the blonde walked beside instead of in front of you and the air filled with light chatter, this woman was quickly becoming a best friend. 

“Wait wait so you have a knife collection?” Jo nodded with a proud grin, “okay I SO have to see that.”

“I promise i’ll show it off, oh great.” She sighed when you reached a rather interesting door, most of the other had been golden or blue or even white. 

This only way you could describe it was red wine with hints of white in it. From her expression this was Balthazar room, “I’ll take it in you know? No biggie or anything.”

Her tense shoulders drooped, “ thanks, um after this Gabe is next then Castiel.” 

You smiled as she began to leave, something had her off about the angel apparently. Without a second thought you opened the door and went to sit the food down only to find the cart are the end of a magnificent bed. 

‘Do all angels have to have such uppity rooms? Jeez, I’d kill to just LIVE here and this is just their rooms.’ You couldn’t help but drink in every detail it was a nice place, the colors shifted from burgundy's to rose reds to wine colors and back again with maybe a white outline or something to break the color up. 

“You know if you’re just going to stand there….” A british accent snapped you from your observing, apparently the winged thing had been speaking to you. 

You glared at the tone, like he were talking to a common animal, “oh god forbid an angel has to walk halfway across his room to fetch his food. How horrid.”

Balthazar looked taken back before breaking out into a grin, “ You HAVE to be Castiel’s. Poor Cassie’s got his hands full.” 

You rested your hand on your hip as your lips formed a thin line, “Oh don’t be like that, c’mon it’s better than being Luce’s.”

That set you on edge as you firmly kept your feet where they were at as he raised an eyebrow, “I need my food love.”

“Get up and get it then.” He chuckled amused and pleasantly surprised at your attitude. 

You were truly rare, a slave snarking back to an angel. It was a lovely, not that the others didn’t mutter things under their breath it’s just that you were meeting his gaze. You refused to be submissive, refused to let him intimidate you, he was going to enjoy you being around if only to see the reaction you’d get out of the other angels. 

“Alright.” He stood up out of the bed only to be dressed in boxers and was utterly surprised when you he didn’t feel or see your soul spike in arousal. 

If anything it dimmed, as if seeing him nearly cloth less was an insult or a betrayal. He sauntered over as you kept your eyes level with his never once sparing a glance to the body walking to you. It felt wrong. 

“Well well aren’t you just something.” The tone of fascination he had was slightly disturbing. 

“Yea well here.” Practically shoving the food in his chest before walking out and picking up the tray. 

You kept walking now just absentmindedly thinking on why the hell it felt like something twisting in your gut when Balthazar had gotten up. The angel was attractive,surely he was but when he walked toward you something had gripped at the tendrils of instinct in the back of your mind and yanked. HARD. It made you want to flinch, even without the memory of that slaver. You were too caught up in your thoughts to notice the begging moan that lewdly swept through the air outside Gabriel’s door. You pushed the door open only to stop, mind and body frozen. 

You’re impossibly tall baby brother was pressed against the wall, face digging into it as Gabriel’s thrusts became harsher. The large golden wings were spread wide, touching the sides of the room. The obscene sound that bounced off the walls finally clicked and with a snarl you caught their attention. Sam’s cheeks couldn’t get anymore red in a that moment, even Gabriel became bashful. 

“_-_____________! T-THIS ISN-” You slammed the food down and left, slamming the door. 

You couldn’t believe it. Sammy. Your baby brother was being fucked by an angel and enjoying it from what you could tell but an ANGEL really?! You snarled and stomped to the kitchen to find Dean. People shied away the instant you entered, the sheer hate and pain rolled off you in waves and made it easy to find Dean. He heard you before you even snatched him around, the growl rose in your throat with a vengeance. 

“We. Need. To. Talk.” He gulped and nodded hesitantly, following you to the back corner, “Do you know about Sam and Gabriel?”

He squirmed, “Well the bastard is a trickster and a pain in my-”

“It’s a yes or no question Dean.” The fire in your eyes made him even more nervous and hesitant but you needed to know the truth.   
“I...Yea...Look ______________, I know h-”

“He’s an angel! He’s a featherhead dick and you’re letting him take Sam?! Does Sammy even know about that night?!” You yelled no longer caring other people were watching nor listening. 

“______________! That’s not- He doesn’t need to-” Dean tried to calm back down but you were refusing to let this go.

“You son of a bitch! You should have- just...ah!” You screamed at him before stomping off to where you had no idea but you had to get away. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel stumbled in the middle of the spar, Michael knocking the wind out of him, causing him to fall onto his back. He was stunned, it was just bizarre what had happened. One moment he was fixated on the fight, keeping his center and looking for a chink in Michael’s form before it happened. White hot pain and the purest form of anger burst through his system nearly blinding him for a moment. It caused him to stumble and lose the sparring match. 

He shook his head not having any idea where it came from and that shocked him. Even more so when you came around the corner, growling. The emotion flaring up again before he realized it was YOU. It wasn’t his emotions but yours invading his own. He rubbed his chest with an irritated and confused look on his features. He knew angels could reach out into others creating a thin thread of a link. Angels did this most of the time, the thread was thin and snapped within moments of being made. 

It was always for the angel to reach out. Never had he known about a thread lasting this long or being able to carry such emotion through it. Yet, here he was with a slow boiling anger deep in his gut that was not his. It scared him, intrigued and coaxed his attention towards where you were leaning against the wall. Arms crossed under your breast, foot propped up against the wall and eyes set ablaze. The other servants scurried about and made a point to avoid you as the shuffled by. 

Your eyes fell on the angel who was on the ground, a odd mixed feeling of self satisfaction that he was on the floor and yet you were vexed. Stuck between a sick desire to see an angel submitted and yet you didn’t like that it was Castiel who was on the ground. Dean’s words rang in your ears. 

“He’s not like other angels, just give him a chance?” you trusted Dean’s instinct and insistence but you were still apprehensive. 

You couldn’t deny that the angel had found it’s way into your being, he was compassionate and cared...you were waiting to for the other shoe to drop. 

Castiel didn’t enjoy the feeling of content nor the odd embarrassment the angel of the lord felt at being on the ground. The urge to maybe...impress...the woman watching him was nothing but befuddlement. He was brought out of his observation of the peculiar sensation by his brother Michael's speech about paying attention to the opponent and he went to bring the blunt weapon down on the armor before Castiel rolled out of the way. Michael smirked at the sudden burst of eagerness the flared in his youthful brother. 

The fight was more ferocious than previously, Castiel seemed to be determined to force the other angel into submission. He almost did, multiple times, yet Michael refused his advances. Your mind broke down everything. Every twist and turn, the way their feet shuffled, the way they tilted their swords, how they blocked each other, tearing about the fight piece by piece. Michael called for a break, some of his slaves rushed over and pampered him. You simply took a cup of water, dipped it in a bucket that had been drawn up, and took it to him. He seemed surprised at the gesture but you offered the water and he accepted with a quirk of his lips. 

It wasn’t a smile, not even a grin. Just a tug at the edges but you felt better knowing he’d taken the water, he looked like he needed it. 

“He’s favoring his right side.” Castiel raised and eyebrow and tilted his head, “he’s putting all his weight onto his right side. So if get behind him, slam behind his knee so he’ll stumble bring down the weapon and tada.” 

He looked appalled but then nodded, “As you wish.”

The words plucked at a cord but you chose to ignore it in favor of seeing if he truly would do as you more or less commanded. To your surprise he did, the moment he got a leaning he took it. Michael fell on his chest, face in the dirt as he was forced into submission for a moment before pulling the youth down with him. The melee fight turned into a wrestling match of feathers dirt flying in the air and yes yes those were deep almost animalistic growls. You were sure most came from Castiel’s throat if the rumble had anything to say about it. 

“Never seen Cassie fight that hard against Mikey.” You stiffened as a weight plopped down next to you, the mischievous voice was too playful and light. 

Gabriel. You turned to glare seeing red and wishing to leave but you were pinned by something. The look in his eyes. Gabriel seemed almost frantic and unsure but so certian. 

“What do you want? Don’t toy or dance about the question either, or I’ll leave.” You snapped, venom dripping in your voice. 

The archangel flinched but nodded, you were scary. Lucifer’s kind of scary right now, he’d known Dean to get this way but most of the time he was like a cat sprayed with water that could be pacified later. You were different though, he’d never seen someone so spiteful as soul so furious and twisted. It was tainted although there was appeal in the taint. You were raw. Passion, fire, will, loyalty, a smudge of compassion and maybe even a tint of something beautiful. There was just a small bit of that, like a rose bud frosted over and refusing to unfurl. Guarded. It was a part of you that was protected with a vengeance. It wasn’t just you protecting it though, it was a lingering presence almost ghost like. Remnants of it. He couldn’t place it... 

“Stop touching me.” You snarled the worlds out much like a beast and he was taken back. 

“Easy sour patch I wasn’t touching you to start with.” That glare could kill. 

“Liar. You did. I don’t know what angel mojo you lot have but whatever it is stop. Even Castiel listens when I tell him that and I’m technically his bitch.” Gabriel was taken back, Castiel had threaded you?

That’s what was lingering. Castiel’s grace was shards in the caress of your soul and it made Gabriel frantic with worry yet joy. The younger brother never threaded with anyone. 

“You’re not his bitch. Castiel wouldn’t treat you like that.” You knew it was true but didn’t make you any less furious about the situation, “I wanted to talk to you about what you saw earlier, but not here.”

You took a deep breath and stood to follow the angel. Following after the angel’s golden wings you didn’t see Castiel lose his bluster to win the fight against Michael. When you rounded the corner the he paused. 

“Look I know that you are pissed. Rightfully so but please I just...don’t tell anyone about Sammy and I. Please. It….Angels aren’t really supposed to have mates as humans.” You raised an eyebrow at the almost desperate tone he had. 

“Mates?” You crossed your arms with a glare, “explain.”

“Angels mate for life. Okay? We’re bound to each other, his feelings are mine and vice versa. It’s a bond that is unbreakable. We have this thing that angels do called threading. It’s when we pour a piece of us into the other person or angel and you can influence them. Like when I was ‘touching you’ without actually physically doing so. Castiel’s done it before hasn’t he.” It wasn’t a question, you nodded absentmindedly, “ The threading is becomes stronger, the bind tighter, and then you can mate. Sammy chose me and I chose him. I promise I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt him. I swear to god.” He explained haphazardly. 

Your eyes narrowed and you growled, “ Harm my baby brother and I’ll tear your feathers off to use them as writing quills. Ya got me?”

He nodded hastily, he already knew your answer though. He knew that you’d agree if not for Sammy’s sake. You’d have to seriously talk to him about this. But agreed, you wouldn’t do anything to harm your baby brother. You sighed rubbing your temples as he walked off, life was so twisted. An angel tore you from your family, you’d been sold and bought like a common dog, your baby brother was apparently angel married. The irony of it never ends. 

You wanted to scoff instead you yelped, “Are you alright?”

Your mind quickly registered, Castiel, “Cas you gotta stop doing that. Makes some noise when you move.”

He scratched the back of his neck bashfully, “My apologizes, I wanted to thank you for helping with Michael.”

“oh um...no problem.” The sudden bashfulness caught both of you off guard before you snorted a little, “ you smell like hell, i thought all angels were clean and pure.”

Castiel laughed a little, the low sound making you content that you’d caused it, “ I might need a bath.”

You chuckled and walked back to the room together, sharing light conversation. Easy and simple. You left him in his room and went to go get some food and find Sam. The kitchen was bustling as per usual and Sam….Sam was in the corner, hunkered down trying to make his overly sized self as small as possible when he caught your gaze. You marched over with your hands on your hips. 

He was cowering by the time you stood over his sitting form, “ Do you trust him?”

Sam nodded, “ You love him.”

“Y-yes….” He watched you sigh in that defeated way Dean did. 

“He harms one hair on your head, I’ll use him as a throw rug.” You snarled before grinning and hugging your little brother. 

He didn’t need to know about that night. He never needed to know because he was happy and that was worth the secret. 

“Alright, chic flick moment over yea? I’ve got to get Cas food and hopefully he’ll be done bathing by then.” You muttered hugging him tight before moving to find Jo.   
It was a blur as you gathered your food and his to take back to the room, you felt a little lighter even though you’d found out about Sam’s mating thread or whatever Gabriel named it. You slid into the room not thinking. The bathroom door opened and you opened your mouth to tell him what you got but the words didn’t process. Castiel had pants on, sweatpants, at least….his hair was still wet and dripping against a rather lean body. The wings were shining with water, it was a sight to see. Your mouth was still agape from trying to say something. 

This wasn’t like when you’d seen Balthazar earlier today, it was…different. You shook your head and turned back around muttering apologizes as he shuffled around awkwardly to get dressed. You felt a tug in your lower gut and simply ignored it only turning when he said you could. 

“So um, I asked Ellen about some burgers and she made these up special for you.” You handed the plate over and watched his face light up. 

You rolled your eyes at the sound of sheer rapture that escaped him as he took the first bite of a burger, “This. This makes me happy.”

You laughed a little and popped a slice of apple in your mouth, Sam had been overly insistent that you’d eat the ‘healthy’ food too. So to placate your younger sibling you did as much. You didn’t speak, didn’t have to just sat in calm quiet. 

Apparently Cas couldn’t quite handle quiet, “ where did you learn to do that? Earlier when I was sparing, you broke michael’s form apart and saw that he what his weakness was and you hadn’t even watched us for long.”

“Oh...um. My dad actually. He taught me because at the time I was really small for my age and got picked at a lot. He didn’t want me to go in blind and swinging so he taught me how to pick apart my opponent, THEN strike. That way I knew it would work.” You didn’t really talk about John Winchester. The boys hadn’t brought him up either. It was just one of those things. 

Castiel seemed to have this ability though to make someone want to talk if he asked, want to tell him anything. You guessed it to be an angel thing, your subconscious scoffed. The air eased back into light conversation, not even stopping when he turned around to let you change into sleep clothes. You’d learned a lot about Castiel. Gabriel was Castiel’s favorite brother even when Gabe played terrible tricks on them. Lucifer was fondest of Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer were both a big bag of dicks according to Gabe. You laughed at some of his stories about himself and his brothers. 

You grinned as he walked to the little nook and wished you a good night as you crawled into the nest bed. Castiel watched you more than he did do anything else. The night seemed to drag by for him. He was back to his drawing when you whimpered. He didn’t hesitate to move and crawl into the bed. The rough hands soothingly drawing oval on your shoulder. He watched as you snuggled against him. He froze as you made yourself comfortable, turning over to bury your face in his chest. He let you settle against him, bracketing yourself between his arms, using his bicep as a pillow and hiding from something unseen. 

He finally relaxed, wings spreading out making small popping sounds from him stretching them. With a sigh he ran his fingers through your hair, reveling in how you seemed to turn into puddy at the motion. He’d keep this moment though, the feeling of heavy warmth in his arms, and content at the way the grace of him was able to settle next to your soul without being pushed away. He knew when you’d wake you’d spring up from him but for now? Now he’d keep this moment, his own little secret.


	7. Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel shows a personal grove, and his brothers put a plan into action...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted a long one, oh my goodness. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading :)

When morning came you felt drained, oddly enough. A feeling of exhaustion swept through you as you eased went to sit up. An arm dragged across your abdomen and you nearly yelped, instead all that escaped was a sudden gasp. For that one moment your adrenalin flared enough for you to become hyper aware of everything in the room, but when you learned it was only Cas you slouched and pushed the rest of his arm off. Everything fell back into a sleepy haze, enough to where you stood at the edge of the bed and just hovered. You didn’t move, your eyes drooped and your body made small circles as the weight of your form shifted. 

Castiel had to hold back a chuckle, he didn’t know what he’d done to see such a sight but it was truly a wonderful sight. You looked ready to fall over but were fighting to stay alert in the room. He slid over and observed your face, the eyes we’re dull like you weren’t inside your own body. You were on what he assumed was autopilot, Dean had helped him learn that one. 

“You should get a bath, ________________.” He didn’t know why he was speaking so low but all the response he got was an incoherent jumble of words. 

He chuckled at the noise and took your hand, he was surprised at it’s fragility. Your hands were smaller than his, worn and scarred but small and somehow still dainty if that made any sense. It was a gentle tug to get you into motion and even then it was a struggle to lead a zombie around various sharp corners but Castiel felt like he deserved a medal for getting you to the bathroom without incident. You stood still, not swaying anymore and waking up a little at the change of texture from room to bathroom, sighing and wanting nothing more than to go back to bed. Cas drew the bath for you, you woke up a little more at the sound of rushing water. 

You were awake enough to take in the new surrounding. It was an impressive bathroom, the bath was more like a ground level hot tub than bath though. It even had a little seat so you wouldn’t fall under the water. The room was deep blue with a surprisingly deep gold to accompany it. Steam was rolling gently off the full tub but it wasn’t hot. No humidity was in the air even with the haze of mist around you. 

“Mhg, what time ‘sit?” You muttered as he stood. 

“Only 5, the kitchens are going to be up soon. If you bathe quick enough you could catch breakfast.” His voice was scratchy and compliant. 

You hastily decided you were automatically fond of the sound and first thing in the morning it was something nice to wake up to. You nodded as he left, turning attention to the tub. Shucking off your clothes and settling into the water you deemed this bathroom your heaven. It was perfect temperature, the heat was slowly easing you into proper consciousness.You didn’t have to search far before finding soap and shampoo right next to your, lavender. The smile at the edges of your lips turned up wider at new clothes and a towel that you could sleep on, it was so soft that it should be illegal. 

You walked out to Castiel dressed and leaning against the doorway, “um…”

“I thought I’d visit Dean and eat with you this morning, if that’s alright.” He stumbled over his words a bit but you smiled. 

He should have known not to walk through the door first, he should have known from the familiar smirk he’d seen all his childhood. The smirk of mischief, if only brief, had crossed your features. You opened the door and as he walked through you opened your mouth. 

“Ladies first of course.” He looked befuddled when you laughed at the expression. 

“Very funny.” He snorted, the sarcastic voice was grin worthy, and you just kept laughing. 

It was an addictive sound as you walked down the halls. You duly noted the lack of misplacement you’d felt yesterday when you’d taken the same path, now filled with easy talking and comforting sounds. It contrasted with the early morning silence but Castiel didn’t object and in turn you kept talking. Breakfast was fun, the boys all had fun poking at the angel’s lack of understanding references. When he left it was all work for you. Ellen made good on her first promise of working you. Dishes, how to sweeten dough, cooking for the angels with this weird glaze, cooking for the humans, keep the kitchen clean, go get vegetables from one of the other cooks. It was endless!

By lunch time your feet had gone numb from bumping into chairs, effectively stubbing your toes, Ellen had popped your hand at least 3 times, creating a spatula imprint and your mind was shoved full of cooking advice. Needless to say when she told you to take the angels their lunch you were grateful to get out of the bustling kitchen. You didn’t have to go to Gabriel’s room thankfully so instead you made the normal trips and were pleasantly surprised when Balthazar was clothed although still in bed…

“Are we really going to have to do this every time you overgrown bird?” You scoffed standing in the center of the room.

“You could always come to the bed love, the wine is rather nice.” you made a humming sound at the invitation. 

“Counter proposal, you get up and I won’t dump these lovely pieces of grilled steak on the floor.” He scoffed as if you were bluffing. 

Just to prove a point you jostled it and he had no reaction, then you actually tossed it up a little and he was out of the bed. You smirked as he took the tray from you, and his eyes narrowed. 

“Oh stop it baby birdie, you’ll thank me. I’m making it to where all that alcohol and excessive food doesn’t give you a gut.” You grinned and practically hopped out, a spring in your step.   
The tug at your lower gut was less like a slap to the face, the air seemed to be punched out of you for a second before a slight pain settled in your chest. Almost like a sharp twinge then it went away. Taking a deep breath you walked to the arena like area. You really didn’t give a proper look to the sparring area due to your frustration yesterday. It was surprisingly simple, it was just a ring of leather rope showing the limits of the ring. Swords, bows, ect were set against the side, as well as armor. All in all from what you were used to it was refreshingly normal considering angels nick for flair. 

~~~

Castiel was sitting on the sidelines, his hair scuffed up, dirt on his face and a fading scratch on his forearm. He was rubbing his chest as Gabriel nudged him, apparently he’d had the breath knocked out of him. You mimicked the move and was surprised as it, the curl in your chest, eased up. Walking over with the tray propped on your hip you couldn’t interrupt the conversation with Castiel’s lips pulled into a smile, even if small. You hadn’t realized you were close until Gabriel flashed you a grin and you returned it hesitantly. 

“Get the breath knocked out of you?” You snorted as he looked away, that face marred with embarrassment and irritation, “oh stop it feathers, look i brought you some pie.” 

His look shifted to ecstatic and practically snatched it from your hands, Gabriel watched as you rolled your eyes and sat down next to him, “__________________, how did you know that Cassie got knocked on ass?”

“Um, lucky guess?” He watched in curiosity as you rubbed your chest, “ I mean look at him, he looks like he got himself into a scruff. Don’t glare at me like that you do.”

Castiel munched on his food as you absentmindedly picked what looked like a solid chunk of rock from his black locks, he simply kept eating almost blind to the brushing of dirt off of him. He must he was ravenous it seemed, Gabriel looked on with a soft gleam in his whiskey eyes. Something was happening here. Or at least bound to happen, he could see the way your soul was at ease with his grace settling near it. Humans usually pulled away and even if he wasn’t exactly part of your soul, grace imbedded it. Clear grace, Castiel’s grace. The angel had partially laid claim to you and the idiot didn’t know what he’d even done. 

Taking a look at your soul was difficult, especially because you knew it was him and not some weird feeling that would fade away. He had to skirt around the edges so to speak. Everytime he overstepped the line it wasn’t just your soul that flared up but Castiel’s as well. His grace seemed to lurk just in front of yours. Not holding you, no. Your soul was powerful and could no doubt protect itself from invasion but the grace was a first wall. His grace would take the brunt of it before letting anything sink into your soul. 

Gabriel was curious to see how this played out….and how he could push this process along. Days, maybe two weeks, passed like this, most happened in a blur but it was a welcomed blur. You stayed at the ring with Castiel for the most part, helped Jo then demanded the reluctant angel to get a bath before walking anywhere near the kitchen after fighting in the ring. Ellen would KILL you if he came in trekking dirt everywhere. You helped with the kitchen blissfully unaware as to what Gabriel was plotting while keeping a close eye on you and Castiel. You had wrangled everyone into sitting at a huge long table to talk and eat, dubbing it family dinner time. You were taken with Ash’s secret intelligence, Jess was a sweetheart and loved to talk about anything with you. Charlie had to be the favorite of the girls, mostly because she was that sister you never had. 

Meg and you would butt heads, especially when it came to the onyx angel of the lord but she had enough sense to back down when you set your jaw. It would shock everyone how much you could look like John Winchester in those moments. Ellen knew him, her husband would hunt with him. It surprised her the first time you crossed your arms and widened your stance. It was instinct that the boys had as well, yet not even Dean could quite get that look in his eyes. 

It was fierce and unwinding. Your face wouldn’t change but your eyes slipped into something else. They would often forget your history, you were a slave. You weren’t just a slave, you were a slave who had killed three guards and bit the ear off her holder. You were muzzled like an animal, shackled and beaten until the pain was nothing but numbing. In those moments people could see the sheer fury you kept to low embers for their sake. Of course you were one to joke and help but it wasn’t to be omitted that you still had something wild in you. 

Thankfully those moments were rare and in between, Meg had learned to not make jokes that he didn’t get. Just because he didn’t get them didn’t mean they weren’t hurtful so you took a stand. When Castiel ate with you it was to everyone’s surprise, he even stayed to help wash dishes or clean off a table. 

Today the walk back was happy, you felt exhausted but giddy. The pain of being on your feet again always hit though when you sat down on the plush bed. You groaned and reached for the assaulted limbs. It was bad today, you had no time to take lunch to Cas and watch the matches. Jo needed you to help with an cooking emergency, a boy named Kevin nearly set the kitchen ablaze trying to find the a herb. Dean’s baby needed and oil change, Sam needed research on a Wendigo, Ruby had somehow lost her knife, and you had to cook with Ellen. All this said though you couldn’t resist the smile, the ache hurt but was worth it. You hadn’t been so swamped with any work since you had first escaped. It felt good to be able to do something, to hurt in a worked all day way. 

“You alright?” With a sigh you shook your head, still grinning much to the angel’s confusion. 

“Yea, I’m exhausted but it’s so so worth it. I didn’t get to do much of anything wheeeeennnnn……. what are you doing?” You paused as he sat in front of you, resting himself on the ground. 

“Helping.” his hands skimmed against the bruised feet and at the first touch of pressure you groaned. 

“Oh god that feels amazing.” You couldn’t help the content moan as you practically melted into that touch. 

Your feet were bare and dirty from walking on them everywhere but he didn’t seem to mind the state of them as he kept pressing his hands to the skin. It felt ,for a lack of better term, heavenly. 

Each press of muscle was slowly loosened, eased and tenderly catered to. He admitted the hums and small sounds of encouragement that left your mouth when he pressed a certain spot or twist his hand a distinct way made pride almost settle in his chest. 

He was fascinated by the way your body and soul seemed to mimic each other, most humans hid their emotions, their souls and bodies did the opposite. Dean did this, his soul would be in pain but he’d grin and bear it, play it off. Yours didn’t, it flared when your anger did, pulsed when your passion rose, it followed your command. He relished in the soft glow your atman had taken to the treatment. 

Once he had worked all the knots out, your feet rested idly in his lap, he didn’t make you move so you didn’t do so. Over the days you’d eased into this odd kind of touch, it was fine. It crept up on you though. You blamed it on the mornings, you would wake to arms wrapped around you. The scent of Cas was always so sharp and clear. Your mind would register him before you ever really woke, he had also gotten used to nudging you in the right direction of wherever you had to go in the morning. 

“You’re a walking zombie.” He said one day to which you laughed and were slightly proud of him for using the reference right. 

Cas would never come to sleep with you when it was night though, he always crawled in later at night. Of course he was saving you the chagrin of asking him to stay but you had to admit that he was what kept the nightmares at bay. He never told you how sometimes, even with him stroking your hair and mumbling words, you still would shake with the phantoms of a nightmare. Yet when you woke it was as if they hadn’t happened at all. 

He stood when you nudged him with your foot, a silent conversation going between the two of you. He turned and you grabbed the clothes thrown over the bed’s wooden frame as always. You stretched, bones popping as you settled into the clothing. Something was wrong though, you could feel it, tendrils of fear and anxiousness crept through you. No matter how much you tried to force them away the demonic things enjoyed the agony that lit under your skin. Another nightmare. As soon as you felt the urge for panic rushed in your veins it was stomped out by something else. Tender, comforting, and protection it was all Cas. 

A heat washed over you, not fire but warmth. He had a tendency to do this lately, you thought it was a subconscious thing. The centennial being didn’t seem aware he was doing that. It’d happen nearly every time you came into sight, like he was checking for something wrong. With a soft groan he turned at the sound from your lips. You had to do this. Had to swallow your pride because Castiel made it go away. Made the monsters in the night leave, even if his wings were blacker than any moonless night. He shielded you with them, shelter from this coming storm was in his arms and you knew it. 

“C-cas….you um...damn it.” You cursed, a growl slipping into the air. 

Why was it so hard?! You shook your head, frustration and longing filled your senses. The bed moved, weight making you tilt slightly. A softness brushed your cheek as you saw him crawl into the bed. Thank god for Castiel’s mind reading thing he does, the offer is silent as he looks at you and does the most reassuring thing you could possibly think of. Opens his arms. You slip under the sheet and into his grasp. 

Everything clicked so easily, he brought you close, playing with your hair as you relaxed into his arms. He was astonished at you to be truthful, he knew that you were aware of him comforting you through the nights but to actually be invited into the bed of your free will was something liberating. He felt as if someone in the regiment had praised him, stroked at his ego. It was wonderful. 

Tonight his embrace wasn’t enough to keep the nightmare away. You shot up out of his encircled arms with a shriek befitting a banshee. It shook the room, Castiel was sure. You didn’t scream but once but trembled like a leaf in the storm. You couldn’t stop shaking, tears rolled down your cheeks silently, and the expression on your face scared him. It was void of any emotion. You were just staring, eyes dilated, you were panting like you’d been running. The fear kept you frozen, he wished he could see the ghost you did. He wished he could show they weren’t real. 

“_________________.” The scratchy voice reached something in your mind, you had started to whimper. 

He took a deep breath and reached out with grace. You tore it from him with such ferocity the air left his lungs. You were drowning and he was your life line, your saving grace. 

‘Please, wake up.’ You snapped out of the hell that was your mind. 

You turned ,frenzied, to grab out to Cas. His wings created a cocoon around you as you sobbed into his chest. 

“I keep seeing faces, so many faces.” You’d dreamt of hands on you, every fiber of your body had cringed at the memory. 

“Shh, it was a nightmare. Shh, I’m here. You’re safe.” He was right. 

Castiel was safe. You cried yourself to sleep in his arms, the morning rose to quickly. When you cracked your eyes open you groaned.

“You don’t have to work today if you don’t want to.” His voice was soft as you listened to it mixed with his heartbeat. 

“No, no, Ellen is bound to need help.” You sighed. 

“Okay.” he knew better than to argue with a Winchester, they got what they wanted in the end, “at least let me take you somewhere during lunch?” 

You nodded mutely as he kept stroking your hair, you were amazingly awake for mornings but you had a rough night so it was understandable. When you got up you couldn’t shake the feeling of hands. It sent ice down your spine but you ignored it. You were jittery, it got even worse when Castiel wasn’t near you. Even Dean and Sam couldn’t get you to calm down. You took a deep breath, thankfully lunch came quickly. 

~~~

Balthazar watched Castiel’s body language with interest. He seemed almost morose when you weren’t near him. Gabriel said as much, and no doubt was going to play cupid. The angel could see the appeal in the couple, it’d be strong. Especially with his grace already lodged in your soul.

“Are you really going to play cupid, brother?” Balthazar rolled his eyes at Gabriel. 

“Aren’t you? C’mon it’ll be fun. Just think of how flustered Cassie will be. I know you want to .” The archangel smirked. 

The blonde shook his head but smiled, “alright alright lets do this.

~~~

Castiel came to pick you up and your shoulders FINALLY relaxed. For the first time all day you were slightly calmed down. You subconsciously walked closer, he didn’t say anything about it knowing it would prick the famous Winchester pride.

“So, where are we going?” You finally asked. 

“I found a place in the gardens when I was younger. Believe it or not my brothers would love to pick at me. Gabe played tricks with Luce, Michael had a humiliating training regiment...it was just bad. One day I ran off into the gardens and found this spot, I think you’ll like it.” The garden was beautiful and more like a maze than anything. 

He pointed out small landmarks that helped him get through the maze, the walk wasn’t long at all and when you stepped out into the clearing it was worth any wait. The flowers were shades you’d never imagined, when the tree caught your attention you couldn’t be pulled away. It was an angel oak, massive and the perfect climbing spots. Tentative steps had you reaching out in caution like this moment could shatter like glass any moment. The feel of moss was as soft as silk, it smelled like rain and different flowers. Wisteria hung the top most parts, a space was cleared where bees hummed in content. 

“Cas it’s beautiful.” the tension eased away, feelings of dread ceased. 

You could almost feel the bashfulness from the angel, sneaking a peak to it was true. He was scratching the back of his neck and kicking his foot slightly. The movements so very….human….He snapped his fingers to produce a grilled cheese, lemonade, and some honey cake for a snack. 

‘Bless this man’ It was a running thought that passed through as quickly as it appeared. 

No, no that was a lie. The thought didn’t run through, nor did it pass quickly. You wanted to sulk, smile and yet scream at all the same time. It was your own fault, maybe his too. Waking up in that warmth, his body pressed against your own, you could feel puffs of air as he dozed on your neck when he pulled you flush against him. It was maddening. His arm slung over your waist, fingers playing with your h/c locks. The addictive scent rolling off his skin, inky wings caressing the back of your legs or shifting against your thighs if said leg wasn’t slung over his own thigh. He compared you to an octopus when you slept. 

It was embarrassing the first few times but soon it was almost normal to wake up so close to him. His touch soothed you, and mostly kept the nightmares away. No one is perfectly protected, you reasoned. Lunch was high in the angel tree on a fat branch, the clearing was gentle and you adored it. Yet it ended all too soon whenever lunch was forced to close. 

“I’ll see you at dinner, it’s saturday.” He spoke helping you down slowly. 

His hands rested on your waist, the warmth sinking through your jeans. Castiel has blue eyes.

‘No. No they’re not blue. Azure, brighter than the sky and deeper than the ocean. I just haven’t noticed.’ A spark spread from where his fingers tightened, tips slightly brushing against the skin just above your jeans. 

“Oh dear i do hope i’m not interrupting.”You leapt apart, an inner self screaming in frustration at the loss of contact. 

“Gabriel.” was that a possessive growl from Castiel?

“Oh calm down I was came over just to make sure you weren’t going to miss the sparing match.” Gabe winked as Cas, whom was stuck between blushing and yelling in frustration.

“I’ll be there.” his voice was a pitch lower, angry until it turned to you, “ I’ll see Gabriel walk you back.”

You nodded and walked with you little brother’s lover as the onyx winged angel stalked off. The second he got away from said angel’s earshot, the archangel double over in laughter. Honestly you thought the possibility of him being insane, after all he was committing sacrilege taking your brother as his lover. 

“What?” You snapped crossing your arms. 

“I really must have messed up a tender moment. Did you see the look on your faces. Oh my Dad. You both looked ready to tear my wings out.” He cackled and you blushed, ears turning red. 

“It wasn’t tender we’re just friends.” You snorted. 

“Friends don’t look like they’re going to ravish each other in a garden.” The smirk was in his voice. 

“Cas...he...not...he didn’t look like that.” you snapped, walking a little faster. 

“Look I don’t know what you saw but I’ve never seen him get that close to ANYONE. He’s never looked at any humans, or angels for that matter. You come along and boom! He’s sweet as sugar and you have him wrapped around your finger.” The golden haired man’s amused face was really really starting to piss you off. 

“I don’t have him wrapped around my anything.” Your mind fell back to how he would do dishes, sweep, or wash the table is you so much as made an inclination as to doing them yourself. 

“mmm you sure about that? Just fruit for thought.” You didn’t even notcie that you were at the door of the kitchens. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel nearly tore Gabriel’s wings from his back. He was furious at the intrusion, his hands had rested so easily on your waist. Holding them naturally, they seemed to sit perfectly in his grip. He had to control his breathing, you so close and so warm, he was scared of doing anything that would scare you. His fingers moved of their own accord, there was a space of tantalizing skin between the edge of your jeans and your shirt. 

‘Don’t touch. She doesn’t want you. This isn’t right, don’t touch!’ He mentally cursed, his body was winning against his mind as it did just that. 

‘Her skin is so warm, so smooth. Even the scars are beautiful.’ Then it all came crashing down. 

Snapping back to reality only happened when he was breathing in grains of dirt. With a cough he dragged himself off the ground. Balthazar scoffed and shook his head. Castiel had entered the ring in a sheer rage but now he was nothing if not distracted. Of course Balthazar knew why, Gabriel and himself had made a plan. Gabriel would point things out and he will flirt, if not get under his baby brother’s skin. 

“So tell me, what’s ________________ like?” Taunting engaged. 

Castiel’s eyes flickered to that dangerous electrical blue before it was snuffed out, “She’s fine.”

“Fine? More than fine. She’s quite the beauty, lips full, curves and those eyes. Practically delicious, wouldn’t you agree?” Castiel’s wings seemed to widen a bit more, even if it was subconscious.

It was a deep instinct to keep suitors for an angel’s mate away, if not gone. He didn’t realize what he was doing, it was an unspoken action. The “baby birdy” as you had nicknamed him, relished in his brother’s reactions. 

“I might keep her.” His answer was a low grating sound, this was going to hurt like hell. 

His brother kicked him off of his feet, and tried to subdue him. Fighting angry though was bad idea, because when a fighter is angry they lose sight of footing and blocking. They leave themselves open. 

“Oh what’s wrong? Ruffle your feathers.” Balthazar grabbed his kin to pin the younger angel. 

“You can’t have her.” It was a snarl set low in his throat, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“Sounding mighty possessive there, little brother.” 

It was a quick movement, Balthazar had been so focused on taunting the truth out of his sibling he didn’t notice Castiel’s foot until it shoved him hard enough to make his back bang against the tree. The wood snapped making him wince, the tree branch he was slung against had snapped and he was falling. His headache was immediate as it hit ground, ears ringing and vision blurring for just a second before he started laughing. He even clapped his hands as he sat up. 

“Ah but alas I fear she only has eyes for you baby brother.” This caused Castiel pause. 

“What?” He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes in a puppy like manner. 

“You really are blind aren’t you? She has a thing for you.” He took the hand offered to help him up. 

“She doesn’t want me. She wouldn’t ever want me.” Balthazar groaned in irritation. 

“You do realize she sticks to your side for everything right? You get in an argument? She takes your side even if you ARE wrong. For Dad’s sake she nearly tore Meg apart verbally when the girl made a quip about you. If she’s not taking your side she’s at your side, and takes care of you without realizing it. Ever had to ask her for something?” He questioned as a slave walked to him offering water to which he winked at the blonde girl that giggled and blushed. 

“No.” The tone was curious and deep in thought. 

“She meets you halfway with water, a rag, helps you undo that pain in the ass armor and I have never seen your room so clean since you moved into it. After her waiting hand and foot on you of her own free will, and you think she doesn’t want you?” He shook his head, taking a gulp of water. 

“I….i never thought about it that way.” He admitted, now that he was looking at it though….

“It’s just fruit for thought.” Balthazar grinned walking off to get the armor that was hot and chafing against his skin. 

Castiel was left puzzling things over in his head, he wanted you. It was something in his core that wanted, lust was only half of it. It was a desire to have you wake up in his arms, a light chaste kiss against his lips before sliding back against him. You would mumble in that sleepy compliant voice you had in the mornings, that you wanted to stay in bed. It was surprisingly domestic considering the lustful things he had considered doing to you. 

Yes, it was fruit for thought. Tempting, tantalizing, ripe, dangerous fruit.


	8. Beg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You beg for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
> 
> This is where it gets dark guys, if you are very sensitive to the topic of rape please message me and I will summarize the part for you leaving out the uncomfortable bit. I am terribly sorry if it offends anyone, please accept my apology ahead of time. If not proceed with caution, I have left a warning in the fic itself to help. Once again I apologize if this is a sensitive topic.

Castiel was distant through dinner, completely. He didn’t really respond to anything even when you tried to get him to speak. The air was tight around the both of you, he still helped with the kitchen but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak after a bit of his ignoring you. It seemed that way at least. Most everyone had gone to bed besides You, Castiel, Ellen and Jo. You picked up the broom and started to sweep only to have it gently taken from your grasp. The hands came from behind you, fingers brushing against your hand as they took the weight. 

“Let me.” Castiel’s voice was gravelly in your ear, a spark running down your spine made you stand a little straighter. 

“Um...yea...thanks.” You cleared your throat stepping away from the heat that had been coming off of him, he was standing so close behind you. 

When had he gotten so close? When had his voice ever sounded so husky, so alluring? You kept yourself busy with the dishes while he swept, that was the first word he’d spoken to you since lunch and you were...angry at that? Truthfully you had nothing to be angry about, it’s not like you hadn’t gone a day without him not speaking a lot to you. There was some days when the silence was welcomed between you, not having to move your mouths to speak. Something was wrong here though, it crept into your mind and you growled at the bubbles around your wrist. 

‘Alluring, husky...Gabriel!’ this time you snarled at the angel’s words, the reason why you being so sensitive to everything was because of that trickster. 

It was all his fault for putting ridiculous notions in your mind, all his fault. You didn’t even want Castiel. No, not at all. 

‘Liar.’ a voice purred and you were shocked to find it sounded much like a female version of Gabriel, ‘Great as if I needed another angel in my head….’

You were so deep in your own thoughts and argument with this new voice about why you didn’t want Castiel that you hadn’t noticed the knife in your hand. You hadn’t even felt it slit your skin at first, they were supremely sharp. You always sharpened them in the morning and at night personally, so you knew how deadly they were. But the sting brought you from private fight, you dropped the blade with a curse. It wasn’t your first time being cut so it didn’t hurt as much as it should have but still a slice was a slice. It looked deep, blood pooling in your palm where you’d slit it. 

“Damn.” It wasn’t a yelp but bark and within seconds everyone saw it, you’d never known blood to move so quickly that it began drip on the floor between your fingers. 

“Oh my god, ____________.” Ellen rushed over as you held your hand over the rinsing sink, not risking blood on the washing part where the dishes stood. 

“It’s fine.” you tilted your hand letting the excess liquid run down the drain but before you could rinse it off a feeling of slight panic before relief settled in your chest. 

This wasn’t your emotions...it couldn’t be yours. You’d handled blades before with ease, it wasn’t something that scared you, or even caused worry. You risked a glance at the angel in the room and saw the exact same emotions flitted across his face, almost too fast too register. You were right, it wasn’t yours. They were Castiel’s. 

‘oh my god.’ You felt an emotion you couldn’t place, panic, curiosity and almost offended. 

You watched as he walked forwards to lightly encircle your wrist, it was warm - his hand. It heated up and you hissed at the sudden heat change, the temperature didn’t so much hurt as startle you. The feeling centered on your palm, you knew angels could heal humans but to see and feel it was one thing entirely different. It was light, not bright but visible then nothing, you could feel your skin stitch over until the light pulled away to reveal a thin scar. Stretching your fingers and testing out the healing, nothing was wrong. You felt like nothing had happened in the first place. 

“Wow...that’s cool.” You grinned at him to find a small smile at the edge of his lips. 

The not your’s emotions fell silent and slipped away, “ You two should call it a night, ___________. Jo and I will finish up.”

You nodded to Ellen and walked out with Castiel. That’s when your irritation from earlier sparked back up. The both of you always walked close enough to brush shoulders but now he was at least five feet away from you. He didn’t speak, nothing. He didn’t even seem to be aware of your existence and that shouldn’t have pricked your anger. It shouldn’t but did. 

‘He’s ignoring you’ the voice sang, you snorted and snuffed it out. 

It was maddening, it even lasted when you were both crawling into bed. He didn’t open his arms, just let you curl up against him. It hurt, he’d never closed off on you, never. You chest ached, then he opened his arms. It didn’t make the ache leave but lessened as you settled against him. Night taking you and the awkwardness of the day away. 

~~~

Castiel was irritated, with himself and Balthazar, ‘Fruit for thought.’ It had been grating on him all evening. Only stopping when you’d hurt yourself, then it crept back before he even left the KITCHEN. He need time, he needed to think and you were dizzying that, you were clouding judgement and reason. Reason was valuable to him, reason kept order and sanity. He could reason that you were friends, he could reason that you were taking care of him because you were friends. Then in the kitchen when he’d taken the broom from you, that sent him off. Your soul responded so beautifully, so brightly that it stole what breath he had. 

He needed space from you, he hadn’t meant to hurt you. He could tell the moment you laid down, not realizing that he hadn’t open his arms finally clicked when you settled close. He was pushing you away but not because he wanted too. It was irreligious, you could be killed if you wanted him. They would tear you from him, forcibly cut your bond that in and of itself could end you, if it didn’t they’d make you watch him have his grace torn out and torture you in front of him. The killing was left to the very end, the angels would keep you conscious to feel the pain as four horses would drag you apart. 

He shuddered, nothing was worse than thinking of that fate for you. He wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t be the reason you died, he wouldn’t murder you. The soft breath that tickled against his collar bone and you nuzzled into him drew the thoughts away. The shirt you wore rose up and settled in the curve of your body, revealing more of that tantalizing skin. Scars speckled your hip, freckling it in a way. His hand drew away from your hair, slowly as to not wake you. 

‘Don’t….Don’t, you can’t do this! Wickedness!’ The Angel screamed at him. 

‘Do...It’s _______________, not some woman just some you’re lusting after. It isn’t wickedness if it’s returned and you know it is. She wants you just as much as you do her. She wouldn’t let you into her bed, wouldn’t let you touch her like she had before. It’s alright.’ The Man reasoned with the Angel. 

He rested his hand on the curve of your hip, thumb settling on the inside just like earlier. The warm flesh under his was just as he his dull memory recalled. He stroked your skin slowly watching in fascination as you moved against him, leaning into his touch. The lust rose in him with a vengeance and he stomped it out, this was touch not want. He could already tell this was going to be a long night. 

A long night it was, he had to keep himself from touching you further but the real test came in the morning. You had rolled onto your back, the sun splashing against your skin. The blanket had moved to cover only your thigh, sleeping shorts high, sleeping shirt raise just under your bust. Hair splayed out against the bed, and pillows. The light casted a glow that was more befitting a goddess than a mortal. So beautiful…

‘So kissable, don’t you think brother dearest?’ Balthazar’s head plucked up in Castiel’s mind as the angel sat up. 

His eyes unwillingly traveled to the lips slightly open as you breathed, chest rising and falling evenly. You were kissable, you were tempting. All while your eyes still stayed closed and your mind still asleep. He snorted and stomped himself out of the room. 

You stretched out, eyes flying open when you found the bed empty, “Cas?” 

The room was filled with light, the bathroom was empty and you couldn’t find Cas at all. He never left you alone. Ever. Your chest hurt, it was angry. All that you could feel was anger, it wasn’t yours. Castiel’s emotions was anger, at you or whatever you did last night. You got dressed and the day pressed on. Lunch had no Castiel. You went to the grove, no Castiel. The training arena wasn’t any better. Then dinner was no luck, finally stomping your way to your room was the last thing to do. Opening the door you were read to give him a piece of your mind. The room was empty...No Castiel. 

This was the routine for at least a WEEK. You fell asleep against cold sheets, the bed seemingly too big now. You woke and not even the warmth of the sun heated you. When you did get passing glances of accidentally seeing him, they were short and he looked strung between perplexion, fear and anger. Not a word was spoken between the two of you, not in the slightest bit. 

Not to mention his lack was made up by someone that caused shivers to go down your spine. Lucifer. The Morning Star had taken a particular shine to you. Lecherous glances, sultry purrs as you were passing, and he seemed to constantly find you. He would purposely stop you to talk, the talks were something to curl a gut instinct that screamed RUN. He caused that feeling you had from nightmares. Hands. Grabbing at your skin, the taste of dirty cotton in your mouth as you were gagged, past mixing with the present of sulfur, blue eyes and what you could only describe as a demon in his shadow. You were helpless against the nightmares now. It was as if Castiel didn’t even come to his room which you knew for a fact he did. New clothes were left every morning and night, new bath salts and shampoos too. But no Castiel. 

Then you finally did hear his voice, but it was directed at a giggling Meg….You were livid. Her hand was over her mouth, her eyes screaming lust and he was standing there tapping the toes of his shoes on the floor in a flustered way. You stomped over in a kitchen full of people before Ellen could grab your arm. 

“What in the name of Hell is your problem!?” And there was the Winchester stance. 

You had pushed Meg out of the way and now demanded his ,including everyone else in the room, attention. 

“_-______________, wh-” You cut him off. 

“Don’t you dare even start to TRY and explain yourself! Do you realize what I had to go through this week because of YOU!? I’ve had nightmares that would kill angels, the others look at me like I’m going to bite their heads off, the guards have started to whistle and cat call me AND YOUR brother has been staring at me like i’m the choice cut at a butcher shop! Nothing gets done about it because my brothers are on a damn Wendigo hunt!” You yelled actively backing the angel into a wall. 

“P-pl-” You didn’t allow any room to speak. 

“I told you to shut up! Do YOU realize how unnerving it is for Lucifer to look like he’s about to do just GAH! Balthazar looks at me like I’m something to be pitied, I haven’t been able to find Anna because GOD FORBID I go looking for some help about this fucking whatever it is!” You pointed to the center of your chest, “I am so fed up having to get heartburn, feel like i’ve been punched in the gut, have the air knocked out of me and for WHAT?! Because of YOU.” Castiel was flush with the wall and flinching. 

He was flinching from the words that were cutting deep like a knife and from the unbridled fury pouring from the brightness that was your soul. You were blinding in that moment. Everyone was stunned into silence, watching you tear him apart bit by bit. 

“To be honest at this point I’d rather have Michael calling me a bitch and ordering me around than having to deal with your indecisive ass! You help me for a bit then up and disappear! No word, no nothing! NOTHING! I looked EVERYWHERE just to get a fucking answer and of ALL the places you show up HERE?! Talking to HER?! You’re lucky I don’t rip your wings off and used the feathers as quills!” Pure hate, pain and blinding wrath was strong enough that even the humans were backing away a little. 

You took a deep breath then turned on your heel and stormed out leaving everyone in shock. You needed to find someone to talk to. Gabriel always knew how to spin a tale and run his mouth maybe he’d be able to figure out what was wrong with your emotions and fix it. The kitchen returned to it’s bustle but now had juicy gossip to talk about. 

~~~

Castiel went to go after you before Jo grabbed him and shook her head. 

“You need to let her cool off or she might make good on her threat. Trust me, I’ve dealt with enough Winchester meltdowns to know at least that.” She sighed rubbing her forehead a little, “ what was she talking about anyways?”

Castiel knew he deserved your anger but that. That had cut him deeper than any knife could, it felt like he was being ripped apart. Like at any moment, his very grace would be destroyed in your hands. 

“I had to find some answers for a problem between us but it seems that i have just made it worse.” He sighed. 

“You really didn’t leave anything to tell her what was going on? Just poofed?” He nodded and she gaped at him, “Do you know ANYTHING about her before Lucifer brought her here?”

“I have tried to ask but she ends up ‘dancing’ around the question.” He shrugged, at the time he wanted to respect your privacy.

“Oh christ, okay to hear Dean tell it when their mom died ________________ was ripped from Dean. He had a good grip on her but the ANGEL that did it was stronger. He ripped her from Dean and sold her into slavery. She went through a bad time. She was only 7 when this happened. She was beaten black and blue. By the time she was 15 they...they started selling the girls as merchandise for other entertainment. She did something and that’s all she’ll say about it. You practically deserted her, the one angel she’s ever let close.” He sat down and put his face in his hands. 

How could he have been so stupid? You were bought for him, you didn’t get bought young and raised here. You didn’t get beaten into submission, of course there was something to do with angels. You didn’t trust him at first, now you only trusted Gabe because of Sam. Balthazar was on the fence when it came with your trust. He left to sort through his own chaotic tornado of feelings before even trying to think of telling you about the results. He really was an oblivious idiot. 

~~~ 

You stormed through the hall and straight to Gabriel’s room, not even bothering to knock you slammed the door open. The archangel actually jumped and had a hand on his chest. 

“Oh dear father, what are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?” He questioned but the smirk faded when he saw your ruined face, “h-hey what’s wrong?”

“Get rid of it.” You nearly sobbed, in anger or not you couldn’t tell, “get rid of it, I don’t want it.”

“W-what are you talking about Sweetness? C’mere.” His arms opened and the door closed of it’s own volition. 

You didn’t run into his arms like you would’ve Cas’ instead you walked stiffly and fell into him. He held you like any older sibling would, brushing your hair from your face and making a soft cooing sound. 

“How about we take this to the beginning and work it out. Alright?” You explained everything, the feelings and aches in your chest to Castiel leaving to your angry rant and the walk here. 

“I know that this isn’t just me going crazy when I’m talking about those aches and not my emotions. I know you can get rid of it. I’ve seen you and Sammy use it so there has to be a way to make it leave.” You dried your wet face. 

He shook his head slowly, “I don’t think you want that. I think you’re angry and rightfully so but did you let Cassie explain why he left?”

You shook your head and nearly started to re-ruin Gabriel’s shirt with tears, “maybe you should.”

“No. Gabe you didn’t see his face when I was yelling, he looked scared. Of me, of all the things for a mighty angel to be scared of he was scared of me. I don’t want him to be angry or upset with me. I can’t take it, I won’t be able to.” You clenched to him for life it seemed. 

“You need to go somewhere and calm down, okay. You’re going to go into a panic attack if you don’t even out your breathing.” You nodded slightly and detangled yourself. 

“Okay. Okay. Thanks Gabe.” He nodded and waved you out the door. 

You needed to go somewhere safe, somewhere you could breathe. Wide open area. The glen. It was as much your place as it was Castiel’s. You’d taken every lunch you could there and deemed it your own little hideaway too. Your feet moved as if you were tugged, walking sluggishly to the garden. The halls were quiet, thankfully. You ignored the coils of anxiousness in you, dubbing it the after affects of your screaming battle and then break down. All that came crashing down though when the putrid smell tore at your senses. 

You’d just stepped into the meadow only to see Lucifer, propped up against the tree’s trunk. You could swear it was rotting around him. 

“___________________. What a coincidence, finding you here.” His words were like a snake’s poison, “I heard about your little rage fit and thought some ...talking would help.”

“How...when…” You were shocked, you could have sworn Lucifer had never set foot here. 

“My sweet dove ,you’re not the only one who’s taken a merry stroll in the garden.” His pet name for you cause a spike of panic. 

“Get out.” You snapped, hands clenching at your side, refusing to let that terror show on your face. 

“Now, now, __________________, that’s no way to talk to someone who just wants to help.” He smirked pushing himself off the tree. 

“I’d rather eat glass than get your help.” He growled. 

“Don’t think I don’t know about what’s been going on between you and my brother. I’m NOT blind. I’m guessing no one’s told you about Threading have they?” the look of confusion dance across your features, “I guessed as much.”

“Threading my little sweet is when an angel stakes claim on another person. You see angels take mates. When you want someone you thread a bit of your Grace into them. I’m sure you know what that is. The Thread can be broken but it has to be one of you that does so. If it’s an early thread that’s easy, snip it at the bud.” he seemed to stalking you like a wolf would it’s prey, “With you though? No, Castiel’s kept himself seated against you too long. The new bouts of emotion? Those are his, when a Thread is tight enough between two mates, they will take on the other’s emotions. They’ll feel the other’s pain, even be able to speak with each other...even cart through the other’s memories if they so please. Isn’t that grand?”

You breathing stopped, everything paused. Castiel could look through your memories? All of them…

“N-no. Cas wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t abuse me like that.” You shivered, Lucifer was practically looming over you, when had he gotten so close?

The smell of sulfur made you want to retch. He smirked, a cold thing, “ Who says he hasn’t already?”

“You’re lying. I know you are.” You hissed taking as step away trying to put as much distance between you as you could. 

“If I can, so can he. If I can look deep enough into that dark past you keep then so can he.” His voice was low and you could feel penpricks of fear. 

‘Lucifer is lying, he has to be. It’s what he does, he’s the king of it. He can’t see my past, no one can. It’s mine.’ 

“Prove it.” You snarled, eyes glaring challengingly. 

“Hm, as you wish. You could have stopped him you know….the slaver. You killed the three guards. Didn’t you, _________________?” His hand encircle your wrist as you stopped breathing, you couldn’t move. 

“They had died trying to hold your legs open didn’t they?” He tilted your head back, pressing a kiss to the skin. 

You fell back into the memory. 

 

*WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING*

 

You were only 15, on the cusp of womanhood, the other girls and women had warned you what was going to happen. Humans were breeding dogs. No one wanted a breeding dog that hadn’t had some experience, they wanted things quick, easy and with little resistance as possible. You had been preparing for it. The other girls were screaming in agony, the sounds piercing the night. Taken one by one against their will on a cold ground. It had been happening for the past week. You and three others were left, you were next in line. 

Defiant to a fault and refusing to bend over and let them steal something precious to you, you prepared. The nails were loose in the floorboards of the wagons, the outside of your cages were laced with spikes that had to be five inches long. The guards carried weapons, a knife on each of their hips. Your mind kicked into full strategy mode. 

The rusted but sharp nail was tucked away in the folds of your dress, you had to clean with the other girls ,the floor that they were taken on. Infected goods didn’t sell. There was an empty cage next to it, once one of the guards was dead you’d grab the weapon kill the last one and then slaughter the slaver. It was sound, simple. 

The other three cringed when one of the sentries came, he snatched your arm and was surprised as he met no resistance. Your bare feet scraped the ground, rocks jabbing into the skin. You didn’t feel it anymore. Letting yourself being lead along was the feeling of being a lamb lead to slaughter and yet being a wolf in sheep’s skin. Alcohol stank the air as you were tossed in. The smell of fear and sex hung like a hangman’s noose, but you didn’t falter. You weren’t going to be taken, not here and not by anyone of these men. 

The slaver was speaking but you weren’t listening to the slurred words, until one of the men grabbed you from behind. It was a sharp and quick turn, the nail was buried hilt deep before dragged down his throat. The other’s leapt into action, the two watchmen gripped you tight. You were forced on the ground, back hitting the cold surface. One made the mistake of placing you too close to his fallen comrade. You finger snatched up the blade and slit him from belly to collarbone, hot blood splashing against your skin. There was frantic yelling but you cant remember what was said.

You didn’t hear the chains, a noise you’d soon come to learn. They were heavy as the metal clasped your wrists. You were unable to use your arms as weight settled on your thighs. They were being forced apart, they’d be bruised in the morning. The chink of metal made you begin to kick and yell. You refused to scream like a child, you hadn’t screamed since you’d been sold. No you were yelling, shouting profanities at them. 

Metal, freezing was put on both of your thighs, the man made a mistake taking his hands off to place it on. You shoved and kicked him with a enough force to hear a sickening squelch, the cage sank into the man’s soft spot just above his spine. You were almost free before hearing a chuckle, the metal on your thighs forced your legs apart as they were pulled, it was painful enough to hear your hips pop. The slaver. You frantically looked for a blade but it had been lodged in the man still choking on his own blood. You were weaponless. Your breath was coming in quickened paces no matter how much you tried to calm it. 

You had your first panic attack at fifteen, with a man’s slimy hands ghosting against your body. The slaver made a mistake, leaning down. He wanted to hear you whimpers, he was close and your teeth sank into his ear. You tore it off and spat it back in his face. A hand came down slapping you into the ground making your head bounce off the floor, your vision blurred with black dots in your sight.

He forced his way into your mouth, when you tried to bite down he forced two fingers in as well to keep your jaw open. You gagged and tried to fight back. It wasn’t much use but you didn’t give up, the white liquid forced down your throat was repelled and spat up everywhere. Your mouth was free and you didn’t stop biting and trying to do something to get away from this hellish nightmare. He had dragged the half hard cock down your body, and you felt every last bit of it once again come to life. 

It happened without warning and was truly the worst pain you’d ever felt. He forced his way into you and with a sharp thrust seat himself to the hilt, moaning. You screamed in agony, he chuckled and kept forcing his way into your body. The wet stickiness wasn’t your body reacting, it was blood. Blood from the maiden head he’d broken and from the torn muscles. For the first time in a long time you cried. 

~~~

A sharp bite on your neck jerked you back to the glen, “N-no. No! It wasn’t my fault! I couldn’t do anything.”

“Couldn’t you though? You had 3 men and each with a weapon, you never reached for another one.” You froze only to be startled into action. 

He jerked your head back and rolled against your body, feeling the bulge you panicked. You nails sank deep and caused him to bleed as you pushed and kicked away. He let you, he had to have let you and just as soon as you thought you could run, you were trapped. Your body had almost made it out only to be slammed against ground. You got to your hands and knees, desperate to run. Desperate to scream but you couldn’t find your voice, you were a scared little child again. He pinned you with a force you couldn’t see, keeping you there. 

The shirt rose up past your bra line as he forced your upper body against the ground, twigs and various rocks digging harrowingly into your chest. Your lower half was raised high in the air, you looked like a bitch in heat. The tears streamed down your face without abandon, you were panicking again, breathing hitched painfully in your chest. 

“Such a delightful sight, all spread like this for me.” His hands automatically cupped the heat of your body and you jerked away with a strangled yelp, “go ahead Dove scream. No one will hear you. No one can.”  


You screeched for help, finally finding your voice but he was right. The halls here had very very few people in them to begin with, now would be no different and you were so far from the stone corridors that no one would be able to hear you. 

“Please...please don’t! Please I beg you please!” You wept, this only seemed to egg him on further as the sound of a zipper filled the air. 

Your pants were being tugged down your thighs, “Stop! Let me go! Let me go!”

They were strangled words through hysterical breaths. Then something sparked in your mind. You were bound to Castiel through threading. He could project his emotions onto you and you could him. That’s how it worked ,a two way street. He’d be able to find you, without a doubt in your mind you knew that. You didn’t consciously know how to project the emotions though. Instead of giving into this fate you reached out, feeling lost until you found it. It wasn’t a thread more like a small rope, silver and bright. You could taste electricity in your mouth as you hopefully purged the emotions through the bond. Begging for him to find you. 

“Castiel!”


	9. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instinct wins against reason and Castiel pays for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2 in the morning, please accept this and know I might rewrite this chapter if need arise. As always I welcome critiques and corrections. I'm also starting to LOVE the comments you guys give, it really helps and motivates me to write! Without further adieu please enjoy!

Castiel kept working in the kitchen, sleeves rolled to his elbows, washing the stream of dishes. He could snap his fingers and it’d be done but he liked the work. The feel of soap on his skin, almost burning heat of the water, slickness of the plates. It was a welcomed touch, he was now understanding why you liked and yet loathed the seemingly never ending dishes. There were too many and yet he really couldn’t stop, once he’d cleaned one he set out to clean another. It was borderline addicting to be honest. Humans called it OCD and he was certain you had a case of it, if the state of his room was anything to go by. 

He felt like a cad, he had hurt you and it wasn’t his intention at all. He had talked to Meg about how to woo a woman, when he suggested flowers she laughed. Then you’d come over and chewed him like a dog would a bone. He sighed heavily and placed the dish into the rinsing sink. 

“One step forwards, three steps back.” he muttered almost sadly. 

The breath left his lungs in a rush like he’d been pushed to the ground, a stabbing pain similar to a jagged rock stuck in his chest. Ice filled his veins and a piercing screech filled his mind. Not even a second passed before the kitchen utensils rattled as he disappeared, a flap of wings to show he was in a hurry. 

~~~

The first thing you noticed was the vicious protectiveness rise in your throat, sudden and sharply contrasting with your dread. Those hands had lain against your hips and leaned over your body. It all ended with a sound that was twin to a sonic boom. It had enough force to knock Lucifer on the other side of the glen. What restraint that was bruising your wrist was torn from you, body falling onto your side. What you saw made the very breath leave your being. 

When you first met Castiel you’d seen how long his wings were. The were folded and stayed that way, even when he fought, you’d mused what they would look like completely unfurled because they often dragged the ground. The sight was something to behold. The onyx wings were spread wide, the whole 8 feet wingspan. The light casting off his being was blinding but you couldn’t look away, not from this. He was magnificent, eyes set aflame with such an intense fury it could rattle the stars. 

You could feel heat from the other side of the glen, no doubt Lucifer was meeting the angel’s challenge but it was faltering. The heat was wavering like a flame trying to resist winter’s chill. He took a step forwards and the heat receded, instead Lucifer’s bone chilling laughter filled the air. You took Castiel’s hand, offered to you and felt your clothes settle back where they were previously. 

He grabbed you to him and you buried yourself against him, trying to hide only letting your eyes stare at the ground. You couldn’t raise your e/c gems to face anyone now. 

“Well, well, look at that...careful baby brother, some people might think you’re attached…” The word attached was spoken so lewd you shuddered trying to hide more. 

One of Castiel’s wings came down eclipsing you from sight, “Touch ___________ again and even Father will not be able to save you from my wrath, Lucifer.”

The ground shook, it must have because your legs couldn’t stop trembling. You had to remind yourself that he wasn’t angry at you, that Lucifer was the object of his fury. You were safe. Castiel wouldn’t ever hurt you, he wouldn’t. He wasn’t Lucifer. He was yours, he was your guardian. Lucifer was a wolf in sheeps skin, you could still feel the phantom of the slaver’s hands now churning with the monster across the meadow. 

“As you wish.” The angel bowed mockingly before you felt a rush of air. 

You were falling and yet standing perfectly still almost like flying, the world spun and stopped in seconds. The room smelled like the lavender shampoo you used, cinnamon that always tangled the air, and a softness that called your attention as your room. Slowly opening your eyes you knew you were in the room. 

Your sight was blurred and it took you a moment to greedily take all the breath you could, “y-you left. I h-had to go and find a place to calm down! A-and he was there and I couldn’t leave and….I was scared. Castiel I was scared, I thought….I thought you wouldn’t-” 

You babbled through tears as he gripped you gently, you wept against his chest as he sat down with you curled into him. His voice was gentle against your ear, you didn’t really understand the words but that didn’t matter. He was here in your grasp, holding you, feathers blotching out the rest of the world. 

“Y-you left, you left me.” He stroked your hair threading his fingers through the dirt touched strands. 

“Yes, but it was only because I had to sort something personal out. I didn’t want it to affect you, I’m sorry if i caused you any harm. I never would want you to bring any pain to you, ever.” You nodded against him. 

“Please don’t leave me.” The words were whispered but he heard them none the less. 

“I won’t, I swear it.” The promise was solid and you knew he’d be faithful to it. 

Tears continued to stream down you face as you hid it in the crook of his neck. This was new for you, you hadn’t cried many times in your life. The Winchesters were strong, brutally tough, and always played things close to the chest. Yet here was an angel that had effortlessly knocked down most of your walls and all by doing simple things. It wasn’t even anything romantic, just being there was enough. He could ask you anything and even though you’d be hesitant, he would get the answer. It would be as simple breathing for him. 

He hadn’t beaten down all of the walls like a normal person would, no he simply used the door. Opened without even having to pick the lock and invited himself in. Even more alarming was when he was welcomed in like he’d owned the place to begin with. You had let him in with not so much as a second thought. This terrified you and yet you couldn’t help but not be scared of the realization at the same time. 

Your emotions were a hurricane of confusion, panic, anger and yearning to be sheltered against your own feelings. You didn’t even know what comfort you wanted, you just wanted...no needed the comfort this angel was giving you. The mess of emotions you blamed on the slowly receding panic attack and the encounter with Lucifer. 

“Shh.” Your eyes flickered up to his, protectiveness and compassion gleamed like lights in his gaze. 

“I didn’t say anything.” your words were broken and cracked.

“You don’t have too, I’m sure Sam and Dean could tell what you’re thinking.” The chortle that rose from your throat was harsh and tired. 

You hadn’t noticed the shaking until he slowly intertwined his fingers with yours, gentle, subtle movements like he was trying to not startle you. You doubt anything he could do would drive you away save for disappearing again. His thumb dragged gradually over the skin in palliative circles, keeping you in the present with him. Castiel knew the moment it could, your mind would fly back to the hell that was the cage of your mind. 

You lost time of how long you sat there, wrapped in an embrace that seemed to seep through your skin and to your very soul. Your mind was slow to catch up, sluggish in its realization that it was in fact Castiel’s grace reaching for your soul. Encasing it in warmth that was divine in its touch. His chin rested on your head breathing you in. Your arms gripped to his bicep in a death hold before going lax. Your breaths were in slow puffs, stress and fear finally pulling you into sleep. 

~~~

You had scared him. No not scared, that was too timid a word. You had shaken the very foundations of him. Every fiber felt the terror so clear, so vividly, in that moment he couldn’t tell his emotions from your own. When it struck him there was no control the fury rising like a wave in his veins. Basic instinct, bare and unchecked roared through his senses. It crested when he saw Lucifer. Your body was shaking uncontrollably, pinned with a more solid form of grace, screaming and pleading. 

The grace surged forwards with a vengeance, the sound was deafening. The power shot Lucifer across the meadow and tore at any of the remaining sickness on you. He watched your shaking form fall to the side and practically bellowed with the power behind it. 

He hadn’t realized the challenge he presented until Lucifer’s return in an equal display. Castiel slowly fixed your clothing and reached down to snatch you against him. You were shaking terribly and whimpering against him. Hiding against him, he brought his wing down around you to keep you safe. 

There was something to be said about the unbridled truth that was basic instinct. It was screaming, every fiber in his body, protect. 

Mate. Protect. Fight. Mine. Mate. MINE.

“Touch ___________ and not even Father will be able to protect you, Lucifer” The threat carried such a heaviness in the air you could practically weigh it. 

He had thought he’d lost you, that would have destroyed him as surely as any ripping of his grace would. He nuzzled into your hair even more, he had caused this. If he’d just told you he “needed space” as Jo had put it, then you wouldn’t have been angry. You wouldn’t have stormed off and Lucifer wouldn’t have tainted you. This was his fault. All his fault. 

~~~

The slow breaths dancing across his collarbone jerked him from his thoughts. You were warm in his arms, safe. Castiel tightened the hold on your body, he didn’t want you to leave this spot. Didn’t want you to leave his arms where he knew you were safe, snuggled against him. He sighed and moved slowly ,as to not wake you, to the center of the bed. The shifting of your clothes from day to sleep was easy, the fabric almost melting away. You didn’t let go of him even in your sleep. 

You didn’t wake from a night terror, nor a cold space in the bed next to you. You woke in the night all because your stomach was making it’s attempt to eat your spine. The sharp sting of hunger pricked at you until snagging you into consciousness. You sat up, bleary eyed, and felt the audible pops of your bones. Your hands were pressing against something plush yet almost airless. In fact it was as if your entire bed sheet had been changed. You felt the gentle touch against your wrist and jumped earning a soft chuckle. Vision finally clearing you saw black wings spread out under you, the feathers brushing against you. The wing mimicked another arm you knew that, that’s why the primary feather was able to curl in like a finger and brush against your skin. 

You turned with a glare to find Castiel sheepishly grinning, and for that moment you forgot everything that had happened today. Then like a wreck it came crashing into your mind, the sudden shiver through your being must have been visible for him to sit up. The wings wrapped around you, fanning out to blotch out any light. The darkness bringing you comfort, you didn’t cry this time as you placed yourself in Castiel’s lap. Sitting in the gap between his indian style crossed legs, he let you rest your legs on either side of his hip and lay your head in the crook of his neck. 

He dragged his fingers slowly up and down the outside of your arms. It was methodical, warm and a type of soothing you didn’t know that unfurled in your chest. He was your anchor now, your balance and if he left then it would totally fall out. You’d be left in a chasm that you weren’t sure how how to get out of. He seemed to know the thoughts as one of his hands tangled in your hair. 

“I’m not leaving. I swear. You won’t ever have to worry about that.” You nodded taking in the scent that could only be described as Cas. 

The moment was ruined by a loud growl from your stomach to which he chuckled at, “ Hungry?”

“No, my stomach always eats my spine.” He smiled at your dry humor and snapped his fingers. 

He knew you weren’t willing to go anywhere, not at night after earlier. The smell filled the room and you sighed, the food was warm pressed into your lap, hot potato soup. In a bowl made of bread. It was divine to taste and you lost manners, greedily eating the food. Your stomach was warm, you full, and Castiel was still shielding you with large wings. Speaking of wings…

“They’re beautiful.” he tilted his head in that puppy dog way, “ your wings.”

He tried to not to seem too delighted at that, but his compulsion won out and you saw that face break into a grin. It was odd how easily you could strip him of carefully calculated notions that angels learned to tame. They were taught to civilize themselves as to be placed higher on the hierarchy. Yet here he was thrilled over the fact that you were taken with his wings. You could tell he was proud too. Considering how he sat up straighter and his wings seemed to puff up a bit. 

If not that then it was the feeling of pride that settled in your chest. You were new to the whole threading thing but at least now you could tell that it was his emotion besides your own. You’d have to practice with this recent discovery but for now you were content to settle next to him munching on the remains of your bread. It was still late, the moon light hitting where his wings didn’t cover on the bed. He kept running his fingers through your hair, or against your shoulder. The touch was welcomed, you leaned into it stealing the warm that it brought. 

“You need to go back to sleep, _______________.” You hummed softly in agreement and followed as he led you back into his arms and comfortably against his body. 

The night wasn’t filled with any terror, instead replaced with the first actual dream you had in years. 

~~~

You were under Castiel’s arm, he was surprisingly dressed in blue jeans, a pair of boots and even a button shirt. You could feel his wing partially laying in your lap. It was a bright day, the sun was warm and breeze light. There were other people you couldn’t hear what they were saying. You knew it was your brothers, Sam was laying on Gabe’s lap, and someone else but you couldn’t really think of who. 

He was rubbing small circles on the back of your hand, laying a cheek on your head. It was beautiful here. There was a house, it had to be at least three stories but was surprisingly quaint. A cabin maybe? A lake, small and a dock over looking it. It was at the edge of a forest, just now changing colors. It was beautiful here. No collars, cuffs, no more chains. Just the Wilds and comfort they brought with the occasional job to keep the family busy. 

~~~

“______________, ______________. Wake up.” You felt more than heard, as the vibrations rumbled through your back. 

You nestled further against him to receive a shaking that sounded like laughter. The sun was now bright in your face and you snarled at the sight. 

“You’re going to have to get up sometime you know?” Castiel muttered, “ Besides I hear that Gabe is going to be making some sweets…”

“Death By Chocolate Cake?” He laughed at the compliant voice and let you nuzzle closer. 

“Mmm, if YOU asked I’m sure he’d make an exception.” You nodded as he eased you up into sitting and slowly tugged you up, “but first you need to take a bath.” 

“Mmm.” He gave you a small press to get you into movement. 

You took a rather quick bath and was not surprised at Castiel waiting on you. The surge of joy you felt surely seeped from your skin. He was keeping his promise to you, he wasn’t going to leave. You were unsure to step out the door and walk to the kitchen. 

“It’s alright. I got you.” He whispered into your ear, the shudder wasn’t from fear but from the closeness of his warmth. 

You took a hesitant nod but stepped out never the less. His wing came out to hide you, no one would tell you were there if not looking at you straight on or seeing your feet in the gaps of his wings. His presences was the only thing keeping you from jumping at every sound. The kitchen was bustling and halted as you walked in, keeping your head down. Everyone stared. You hated staring, but you had caused a scene yesterday so it was to be expected. Castiel cleared his throat and everyone continued what they were doing. 

“So is everything better?” Jo asked, she figured it was best to be the first considering you wouldn’t bite her. 

“Yea….yea, it’s. It’s fine.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. 

Breakfast went over surprisingly well, true to his word Castiel didn’t leave. Lunch brought the trickster into the kitchen. People were convinced that you were slowly changing the angels by making them the slaves “equals”. The elder angel could tell that something was wrong from the keen eye Castiel kept on you. He silently questioned about it, he couldn’t bring to ask aloud. Relenting to his elder brother’s questioning and explained. The sudden fury from the archangel was surprising. 

Gabriel was in a rage, he had become attached to you. You were Sammy’s family and Sammy was his mate. As such that made you his family, his kin to protect. You had an ability to bring out the most primary instinct in these angels. Castiel assured him that they didn’t have to worry, he was watching out for you. Seeing as how you were having a rough ,understatement of the year, time he automatically began to cook your favorite sweet. 

Lunch was purely amazing, Gabriel was giving you special treatment and you had an idea as to why. Then soon everything became complicated. 

“Michael is getting antsy, Cassie.” The british angel was sighing and rubbing his temples, “I’ve had to keep him preoccupied and I can’t stall anymore. He wants you for practice and NOW.”

Castiel nodded and with a mouth full of cake you got up to follow. It was almost reaction to stay close, the Thread. At least that’s how you reasoned it. The arena was fine but you had to hang back near Gabe. When the matches came was when things got...complicated. 

“C’mon baby brother, lets play.” You hid in the gold that was Gabe’s wings at the voice and tried to make yourself as small as possible. 

Castiel snarled, and turned to Lucifer, “Lets.”

This fight was different than the rest, anyone could tell that with just a glance at them. Watching the tension reminded you of wolves. Lucifer’s gaze shifted unto you and that was the snap. You felt it pop in your body, crackle in the air. Castiel lunged and the look on your face. You knew it was stuck a terror. Your whole body frozen, and breath shortening. You were scared. It was savage. This was compulsion in it’s purest form, unbridled. You had heard about it before.

Angels were extremely possessive of kin and mates. If one was in trouble then it was a fight to protect them. Especially the mates, more valued than life for angels only mated once and that was it. Should the human die then the angel would follow if there wasn’t something holding them to life. He wasn’t fighting like a furious friend. He was trying to tear into Lucifer, skin him like a beast. If the way he was fighting wasn’t enough it was the emotions curling in your chest. 

This was something raw and uncut within you. It belonged to Castiel, electricity sparked across your tongue. Something had you screeching before you even realized the sound left your mouth. It was a phantom pain, felt through the Thread. Castiel’s wing had been seized and a bone snapped. While the onyx winged angel could heal quickly and handle the pain, you couldn’t. You felt everything, fracture and shard that was dislodged. Lucifer’s smile was cruel and yet triumphant. 

~~~

Gabe held you close and picked you up, farther away from him would keep the pain away, hopefully. At least let it be dulled or washed down. He led you away from the fight when he heard the roar from Castiel. Castiel’s mate had been hurt, even if you shouldn’t be registered as his mate it was already ingrained in him. His MATE, and the monster who caused your lingering scream was smirking. Micheal had to pull Cas off of Lucifer before his throat was ripped out. 

~~~

The pain dulled and you shuddered, “W-what the hell was that!?”

Gabriel sighed and rubbed his temples, “THAT ,my dear, was your thread with Cassie.”

“The thread shouldn’t be like that...should it?” He shrugged his mind scrambled to try and fit things together. 

“C-can you walk me to the room?” You needed time to sort through things before you passed out from the flood of information. 

He nodded and did as you bade, the second the door was closed you locked it and settled on the middle of the bed. You only had moments of silence before the flutter of wings entered the room. Your heart leapt into your throat and didn’t settle at the sight of Castiel. Black wings were falling around him. He looked as if he’d been dragged to hell and back, bloody and his wing still broken. 

“Oh my god. Cas what the hell?!” You leapt up and fretted over his state of being. 

“Didn’t like the way he looked at you.” He explained quietly while you tugged him to the edge of the bed and made him sit upon the floor. 

“Stay here.” You ordered and ran to get the supplies you needed. 

Linens, bowl of lukewarm water and a slender leather belt. Where it came from you weren’t entirely sure but couldn’t be bothered with that at the moment. Castiel needed help, instinct running it’s course through your veins. He needed tenderness and protection so that’s what you were giving. Walking back in from the bathroom ,carefully, you sat down behind him on the bed. 

“Bite this.” You put the leather in front of his mouth, with a perplexed expression he did as told, “this is going to hurt like hell.”

Without further adieu you grabbed the right wing and forced it back into place, the pain shot through both of you. He bit down hard enough to leave new holes in the belt while you whimpered. You brain was fogged by the discomfort but you kept working. 

“I need you to take the shirt off, I have to get to your wings better.” You scolded yourself as that female version of Gabriel wiggled her eyebrows. 

You needed to take care of him that was it. He nodded slowly and panting he did as told. You had to sit and marvel at the body that was presented to you. Castiel was all lean muscle, not bulked up like some of the other angels nor was he skinny. The cords of tight muscles under his skin were tantalizing as he worked the shirt off, his back flexing and that was a glorious sight. He had something printed on his body, you could see what looked like Enochian text tattooed on his skin. The flesh was dotted with small almost non existent scars. Not surprisingly, he was a warrior. An angel of the lord, in His garrison. They didn’t take away from his appeal in the slightest but seemed to only add. It was difficult to fight the urge to touch them but you succeeded. 

“If you’re going to stare, take a picture. It’ll last longer.” His cheekiness was brightened with a gleam in his blue eyes. 

You nearly doubled over laughing, he remembered. He remembered the first time you had come to this room and his inquisitive eyes were focused so intently on you. You had said the exact same thing, god it felt like that was ages ago. The playful gleam was something to be cherished, and the sheer delight that came from the laughter made him grin. HE had caused that, HE had made you laugh even though he was in pain. 

“Ha ha ha, cheeky angel. Now let me get to your wings. Hopefully we can wash the blood out, it can’t be comfortable.” He nodded and slowly presented one wing for you. 

You never really touched his wings, yes you woke with a death grip on them or they were wrapped around you but never were you offered them. You knew somewhere it was a major deal and perhaps even an honor to run your fingers through them. You focused on working the blood clots out of the feathers, it was hard to see the dark crimson against his black but you had plenty of time. In fact everything seemed to still, all except for the content noises you were able to coax out of Cas. 

You preened each wing carefully, gentle strokes to help rake out the bent and loose feathers, to soft movements in helping rearrange them. Untangle was more appropriate, you guessed. The water in the bowl had long turned red and cold, the linens were already drying with the blood and the belt had seen better days but all in all Castiel’s wings were back to normal. They seemed to shine a little brighter but you blamed that on possible water still clinging to them. 

You should have stopped, they were clean and he was healed. You shouldn’t have kept touching. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself not to. Your fingers carted slowly through the pristine down, reveling in the touch of them between your fingers. Castiel tipped his head back, resting it in your lap with his eyes closed and soft hums of approval in his throat. You wished that time would truly stop. That you could just sit here with him as if nothing else in the world existed but each other. 

Your fingers trailed gently from his wings and against his back. Up the back of his neck and into that ebony hair. Nails lightly scraped against his scalp and you watched his wings go slack with utter content. They were spread wide against the floor and part of you scolded him because you’d JUST gotten them clean. Your nose brushed against him and his eyes slowly opened. You watched his pupils dilate just slightly as he met your movement with his nose. It was slow and easy yet you needed this. Needed the touch of him, the feel of his skin against yours.

“Hi.” You breathed out slowly and watched him smile. 

“Hi ya back.” The smile was languid and at ease. 

You would have been proud that he’d used a movie reference if you weren’t shocked by what happened next. It was chaste yet you couldn’t feel like he’d stolen the very breath from your body. The press of his chapped lips against your own was like lightning down your spine. It was an awkward position that held promise after some practice but that was a thought for later. You gasped softly and surprised him. Instead of pushing him away ,like he was certain you would do, you moved him to turn and properly face you. His arms rested on the outside of your thighs, his body between your knees. 

“If you’re going to kiss me, do it properly.” If you smiled any wider your face would split. 

His smirk was bashful, playfully so, as his fingers found purchase in your hair. His mouth was on your own, soft, tender and endearing beyond words. E/C eyes slid shut and you’d never felt such affection from anyone. The kiss turned when he cautiously asked for permission to your mouth. It was a gentle swipe of his lips to which you welcomed him in. He was so wonderfully inexperienced, curious and determined to memorized every spot he could as he laid claim to you. Of course being human had to get in the way at some point as you were forced back for air. 

He leaned his forehead against yours and you felt the overwhelming delight that encased you. You dared to look and saw him beaming with the emotion, it caused a giddy feeling in your body. The giddy feeling made you giggle and he smiled impossibly wider. 

“Properly enough?” there was uncertainty in the question but it was silenced with your answer. 

“Never stop kissing me.” He chuckled and nodded, placing a kiss on your forehead with tender fondness.

For the first time in a long time you felt alive. You felt free.


End file.
